Media and Entertainment - 5 absolutely arbit comments

1.      I’ve gone full circle as far as newspapers go – I have tried them all from the masala Times of India, the boring and bland Deccan Herald, the sober/ serious and left-leaning Hindu, the young and wannabe Mint and that sorry toilet paper (which poses as a newspaper) called Indian express but nothing gives me any degree of satisfaction. The best I can say is that TOI is good value for money considering I get 70% of my money back through the old newspaper route. Serious news be damned, atleast can’t we have something trashy and fun like The Sun J

2.      Sports Podcasts and blogs are fast losing my attention and mindshare. I am 2 weeks behind on my Sunday Supplement quota and 3 episodes on Football Weekly with AC Jimbo. It’s been ages since I read Sid, Rafa or Paolo.

3.      Sequels just don’t work….definitely not the shameless commercial rip-offs like the Race, Jism, Murder, Jannat series but not even the ones with great potential like Don or Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster. GOW2 is the only honorable exception I can remember in recent times but then it was a 2 part movie and not necessarily a sequel.

4.      If movies like Kanna Laddu Thinna Aasaiya (omigawd) and Onbadhulu Guru (which I’ve not seen) which have absolutely no plot and are a string of gags put together become decent hits, why aren’t the likes of SV Shekar and  Crazy Mohan not producing new plays. The concept is the same and the cost of producing and staging plays has to be cheaper and more profitable in the long run. Hmmmmm.

5.      Recently, someone who I’ll not name told me that Sivaji Ganesan and Kamal Haasan might be good actors but the finest actor he’s ever seen was Radhika.  As proof, he showcased Vani Rani, the mega serial currently running in Sun TV. I was speechless then and am still at a loss for words. Seriously.

Room for indulgence

The problem with living in a 2BHK (and a compact one at that) is the fact that there is very little room in the house to indulge in your favorite hobbies.  As a result, I have completely filled up all the space in my bookshelf and my DVD collecting is bursting at the seams which means I am under strict orders to BUY ONE LET ONE GO.

Of course, having an iPad (I am gonna keep plugging this for the next 10 years so my loyal readership of 4 needn’t even bother to complain) which can house all the pirated eBooks really helps but there are still some books that you want to get your hands on, smell the paper, flip through the pages and savor for the future. Also, having original DVDs help since you get access to some lovely bonus content not to mention the interesting behind the scenes features and options of sub-titles J

Books I wish I could add to my library

1.       Narcopolis – Jeet Thayil

2.       On Warne – Gideon Haigh

3.       *surprise surprise* Inferno - Dan Brown (come May 17^th)

DVDs I’m trying to create space for

1.       Skyfall

2.       Looper

3.       Gangs of Wasseypur 1 and 2

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh

Technology is moving fast. Way too fast for my liking. I have an iPad 3 and just when I was thinking of also getting myself a 7” tablet, specifically the Nexus 7, the market is flooded with a million new products, each one better and cheaper than my previous choice… and add Phablets to the mix and throw in some really new Windows 8 smartphones and I am utterly and completely confused.  How I yearn for the days of my first Nokia which could just help me with calls and text - a nice n heavy copper sulphate blue phone. Sigh.

Just when you think that the Spuds will run away with 4^th place and the Gunners will finally be out of Europe next year (which will hopefully prompt the exit of Wenger), our noisy neighbors go ahead and start on their usual, self destructive end of season form….and the Gunners also come away with 2 consecutive clean sheets.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. Looks like I will have to endure 1 more horrible season under Arsene Wenger. Sigh.

I like Jwala Gutta. I didn’t know why. I used to find her very cute. Even hottttt. Not like the over-hyped Sania Mirza or even the miss-goody-shoes Saina Nehwal but definitely worth a dekho. And then someone at work had to burst my bubble and shock me. He said I liked her only because I probably prayed at the altar of Namitha and all we Tamilians just like Size 16 as opposed to a Kareena Kapoor Size 0 in Tashan.  Let me clarify once and for all – I really like Kareena Kapoor too - but he might have actually been right about Jwala. Now, when I look at stills of her guest appearance as an item girl in a Telugu movie, all I can think about is Namitha. Sigh.

Another year at work and despite closing in on the green tag, March still gives me nightmares. It’s the time to fill in appraisals and as you get senior, there is lesser English and more hard, cold metrics that get into your performance review.  While FY 12-13 has been good to me, I still wish I could roll back the clock to 10 years ago when appraisal time was fun. Sigh.

Birthdays used to be fun in the past. It was all about wearing new clothes, eating sweets and savories and getting gifts from people. As you grow older, you realize that it’s time for you to start returning the good deeds and you end up spending weeks, if not months, thinking of what would be appropriate gifts to the awesome people around you. How you wish you could just get away with gift cheques but then, when you have a reputation like I do of being a thoughtful, warm, considerate person, then the pressure to come up with a wonderful gift is all the more nerve-wracking. Sigh.

Life is tough

Do you paint your 'old house' in one colour or do you use different colours for different rooms so much so that it looks like the sets for Shankar's fantasy songs like Aska Laska or Andankaaka Kondakaari?

Do you keep it plain & simple and use solids (or) do you experiment with CRINKLE, DAPPLE, CANVAS, COMBING, RAGGING, SPONGING or BRUSHING effect?

Whoever knew colors had so much personality - Is Pink too girly, is Blue too loud, is Yellow too dhinchak, is Orange too wannabe, is Green too you-know-what, is Grey too dull and is White just plan boring?

Whoever thought a simple painting job would involve a million tough choices? Why can't I just blink my eyes, open and voila - have a beautiful house like they show in the Asian Paints ads?

*sigh*

Aaron Sorkin is G-O-D (Part 2)

Is it possible to have a rant better than this?

Kai Po Che

I've read almost all of Chetan Bhagat's books (cudn't really bring myself to call them novels) but the fact of the matter is that I hardly remember any of them. They're all what you'd call time-pass books, good to read on a boring flight or train journey but nothing deep, personal, or meaningful, nothing that stands the test of time. So, when Kai Po Che was released last week amidst lot of expectations, being naturally wary of the source material, I waited till I had checked out multiple review ratings before I dared to venture to the cinema hall...and boy, was I in for a treat !!!!

The movie is very very good. Period.

KPC is a director's film first and foremost. Abhishek Kapoor rocks and I must admit that I am really surprised - I, for one, never truly believed he directed Rock On. In my eyes, it was Faran Akhtar ghost directing a film to give his buddy a break...and you wouldn't fault me for having this idea if you'd seen Aryan. What a godawful movie that was - Sohail Khan, Sneha Ullal - need I say more. KPC scores big since it mixes humor, seriousness, drama, sentimentality in the right proportions without lurching dangerously from one extreme to the other. The pace neither seems rushed nor does it slacken at regular intervals. KPC uses the Godhra riots as the setting but does not preach about religious tolerance. It is a deep and moving story of duty, friendship, love, misunderstanding - its about 3 kids who man up together.

The last debutant I raved about was Ranveer Singh in BBB but the 3 lads in KPC are even better. I do realise that the film marks the debut of only Sushant Singh Rajput and both Amit Sadh and Raj Yadav have acted in a few films before but this was a story dying to have fresh, new faces who could act and the 3 delivered. The quiet but fiercely determined Govind, the vulnerable and sensitive Omi & the brash but angel-at-heart Ishaan are brilliantly brought to life by these 3 amazing actors.

Manja left me exhilarated. The song is magical and its picturisation and placement in the movie are purrrrfect. Suneeta Rao's lilting melody Pari Hoon Main was thrillingly picturised and brought back wonderful memories of an awesome past. Btw, is this how Garba dances happen? What the heck is "Dhandiya attamum aada" from Kadalar Dhinam all about then? Kunaaaaaaaaaaal.... eeeeeeeeeeeks...

The camera-work is  the best I have seen for a long long time....and yes, it trumps Kadal which I again raved about. So earthy, so natural - I almost felt transported to the location.

...and I guess, that says it all... End of.

Naming conventions

Offlate, a lot of people have been asking me for 'tips' on how to name their kids or even suggestions for names so I thought I'd do a post about naming conventions. Never buy people fish, teach them fishing. Here I go with my gyaan on what one could possibly do

• Take the non controversial route and name the kid after the paternal grandfather or grandmother. If its the second issue, the maternal side might also be fine. Yeah, the name might sound old fashioned but you WILL win brownie points.... and you can cash them in too.
• You might not be practising religion but there is nothing like falling back to Shlokas and the Scriptures for the more fancy names of Gods and Goddesses. That way, all the elders in the family are onboard but you will also get credit for being both traditional and progressive.
• Be practical - Avoid names that start between A & E and again from S to Z....Makes the student life of your kid so much more easier....If you've ever had a name that starts with anything from A to E, you will know that you are always first in line for tests, viva voces, lab practicals etc... and EVERYONE knows teachers are in the foulest moods when they start correcting papers. As they get into the 6th or 7th answer sheet, they tend to relax and read less and give marks more generously. As it gets towards the end, they are in a rush to get it all over with so names starting from S onwards run the risk of not being taken seriously.
• The more flippant can also name their kids after their favorites heros/heroines or even the characters that they have played. Gabbar would go well with Singh as would Vijay Dinanath esp if you are already a Chauhan. For the Southies, take a leaf out of the latest movie star making waves in the film industry - she is Sainthara and she loves Sania Mirza and Nayanthara. Might also be a good choice for a kid born to parents from different religions.
• A more dangerous but thrilling option is to name the kid after an ex or a former crush. Sigh.
• For the bookish, nerdy kinds, look up the multiple websites that offer you a million choices for your darling's name...
• ...and lastly, for the truly adventurous, locate this wonderful namescrabble site, type in your favourite combination of alphabets and it will throw up a truly unique name - one you can safely claim no one else on earth has chosen already. Believe me, this site exists.

Best of luck !!!

Viswaroopam

• Straight off the bat, Viswaroopam is no classic. It will probably not even figure as one of Kamal's above average efforts but it is watchable in most parts.
• The biggest problem with the movie is that it is wildly inconsistent. On one hand, it is meticulously detailed, in other scenes it is incredibly simplistic. There are times I thought it was Zero Dark Thirty, other times it felt like Ek Tha Tiger.
• Beautfully shot, technically sound are praises you'd read enough already. I concur. The action sequences are very stylishly filmed (including an obvious Guy Ritchie tribute) but somewhere in the middle, the movie loses its heart. The background though a tad loud fit well in the movie. The songs do not hamper the narrative so full marks to Kamal the director.
• Watch out for the dialogues - delightfully insouciant at places.The Pashto and Urdu made no sense beyond a certain point - where's the fun in checking out Tamil sub-titles at the bottom of the screen to understand the fundamentalist mumbo jumbo... There were times I just wished I was sitting through one of those funny Vijaykanth movies of the early 2000s with a Pakistani villain and his side-kicks, all speaking Tamil with a strange accent... 
• Now let's come to the characterisation...Why does Viswanath (Kaml) choose to pose as an effeminate dancer? There is no bloody reason at all. It's there to serve no plot purpose, it's more for Kamal to showcase that he has got Birju Maharaj associated with this project and that he can dance Kathak.....in an embarassingly amusing way for a 59 year old....and the effeminate bit, heck, its just to show off...or probably make audiences squirm. God only knows what goes on inside his mind. Now to the annoying Nirupama (Pooja Kumar) - which Tam Brahm in the 21st century speaks like that? Maybe one from the agraharam shown in Sethu but then she is also supposed to be a nuclear oncologist (who romances/flirts over Faraday Shields...wooooohoooo) living in NY who has no problem speaking with a phoren English accent. Honestly, it was so grating I felt like scratching myself with a nail. Give me the absolutley droolworthy Renu anyday please...
• On the acting front, I quite liked Pooja Kumar & I'm surprised Kamal chose a 36 yr old to play the female lead....no kissing scenes though...and you'd have to wait till almost the end credits for some "action".. Quite surreal that she is the same girl who starred in Kadhal Rojave long loooooooong ago... I really used to like this song....anyway I digress.
• Andrea Jeremiah has screen presence and one wishes to see her more often in front of the cameras. Rahul Bose was comical but Shekar Kapur was a pleasant surprise.
• Why are all the foreign actors in Tamil films so godawful - Dawkins and the FBI investigator couldn't act to save their lives. I do hope they paid to figure in this movie - that way Kamal gets to recover some of the 90 crores he put into this.
• The movie also alternates between "hey-look-I-am-so-smart" and "Look-here-dumbos-you-getting-it?" mode -  funny in the way NYPD, FBI were written in large font + bold and smart in the way it uses pigeons as agents of terror....but if you're a Kamal fan like I am, you've seen it before and you know its bound to rear its ugly head all too soon.
• Overall, Viswaroopam was what I'd call a time-pass one time watch (as long as you're not paying those extortionate Bangalore multiplex rates).

PS: The observant would have noted that my comments above did not mention Islam, Jihad or any of the 'forbidden words'.   All T-H-A-T controversy over this masala pot boiler? Someone's got to tell me what's happening here !!!!! How much money exchanged hands?

How times change

When I was growing up - coming from a middle/upper middle class Brahmin family -  as a male child, one was truly "happening" only if one had participated in a Maths Olympiad, won a couple of Spelling Bees competitions, written the NCERT/NTSE and won a scholarship and at the very least made it to the Extended merit list of IIT-JEE. "Truly arrived" was reserved for only IITM / IITK entrants or for REC B.Tech (Computer Science) kids who ended up in the US with an MS/Phd from the top 20 post grad schools with a job in Microsoft in Seattle.

These days, you are a "minor celebrity" if some local TV/FM channel interviews you, you are "happening" if you have made it past fastest finger and won Rs 5000 in KBC and you have "Truly Arrived" ONLY when 3 lakh SMSs are sent voting for you thereby ensuring that a vastly more talented but poorly networked competitor loses.

Now, there's a first...I could soon become a published author

I was on a roll last weekend. Frustrated at work and wanting to let off steam, I was narrating some of the recent meaningless assignments I had been entrusted with at work NOT by my boss but by arbitrary people who turn to me as a last resort when every other option on Planet Earth has been exhausted.

These assignments vary from the mundane - finding out the alma mater of my CEO (and trust me, it wasn't easy AT ALL to find out) - to the bizarre (facilitating an introduction to a customer CIO based on a random airport meeting/conversation that a very senior colleague of mine had with this CIO's ex-reportee....and my senior colleague could not even remember the full name of afrementioned reportee).

All these assignments invariably have an element of humor (gallows or otherwise) associated so as I was narrating this to people, someone suggested that I should write a book about the nonsense that happens in the corporate world. For a moment I was speechless. Maybe this was my big ticket to fame and riches but reality hit me within a few minutes when I realised Sidin's already been there and done it.

I've not ruled it out yet - there is enough fodder in my head for 3 books but there is such a thing called timing so I'll wait for the right moment.

8 absolutely arbitrary things I learnt over the last few days

1. Never judge a book by its cover they say but truer still is the axiom - never judge a film by its trailor. Classic case in point being David.
2. It doesn't matter whether we are talking of the men's team or the women's team - as a nation, we are incapable of finding any consistency in our cricketing form.
3. Its been 3 years since I scoured the net and read a dozen blogs a day but nothing seems to have changed much. Yesterday was such a non eye-opener. There are still the elitist fools, raving lunatics, sane voices of reason, mokkai kadiyans....the more things change, the more they stay the same
4. Working from home makes you lazy and fat. Working from office makes you ragged, edgy and tense. Why work then?
5. A Rs 3 bajji made of old kadla-maavu and oil that's been re-used for ages is REALLY NOT the cure for constipation.
6. 3 guys and 2 gals, 3 gals and 2 guys, 2 odd ball couples, 5 single straight guys...you could create a story with any of the above gender constituent combinations, add a-laugh-a-minute and I will watch them ALL. What is it with me and American sitcoms?
7. The longer you stay in a company, the tougher it is to move on. The toughest changes aren't the ones that involve new people, policies or culture. The scariest bits invariably involve the office shuttle, the new canteen, the coffee vending machine, the scanner/copier/printer etc....Hmmmmmmm
8. On a related note, updating a resume sucks. Its fun for the first 3 mts when you do the formatting - bold, italics, underline, right justify, choose the bullet type - and then it hits you "Have I done anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, worthwhile that will reflect "well" on my resume?"

  

What I've learnt about blogging

• Write about things that are dear to you, things that you care about or stuff that means something to you. People might agree or disagree, like or dislike the piece but will respect your opinion if it is put forward the right way.

• Do not try to be too politically correct but also do not write to incite or provoke. It's fun to debate but its wisest to avoid starting a gutter fight. Also, tone is as important as content.

• Lastly, but most importantly, do not indulge your audience and pander to their requests. At some point in time, you will be consumed by this overwhelming desire to please them that you lose your identity. What happens then is that you don't realise your own voice 10 years down the road when you revisit what you've written.

RACE you to the exit door....vrooooooooooooom

Anyone who sits through the whole of Race 2 needs to have his head examined. The director duo of Abbas-Mastan have never been known for their realistic style of film-making but Race 2 takes stupidity to absurdly high levels. Leaving aside the amateurish plot, the meaningless twists, the nonsensical and vulgar comedy track, the tacky dialogues, even the guilty pleasures of watching John Abraham trying to act and Deepika Padukone attempting to mouth serious lines is not worth sitting through this 2 hr 10 mt montrosity.

For once, even the reliable Rajeev Masand has been way too generous.

AVOID LIKE THE BEUBONIC PLAGUE !!!!

Airtel Super Singer

Parents are in town and so life in the evenings has changed dramatically. From watching ESPN, Star sports, Star cricket and Star world, I find myself increasingly staring at Vijay TV and listening to young kids/adults trying hard to become the next Airtel super singer.

While I am no fan of reality contests and the million wannabes who want to make it big through these stupid programs, one does get to meet once-in-a-while a real talent. However, what I do find disconcerting is the fact that success in this show seems to immediately take them to the next stratosphere... While Pooja, Sathyaprakash, Sai Charan, Santhosh are good finds, they are nowhere near the finished product or even look like becoming genuine superstars like an SPB or a Chitra. Instead of working their PR engines overtime, I would very much love if they put in a few years of slog, worked their way up the ladder before becoming real stars. More shocking is the news I heard that Super singer junior 3 winner Aajeedh is already singing at school/college fests in Trichy. So sad !!!

Btw, I have seen these music programs for ages and the 2 out-of-the-world singers who have captured my imagination were Sunidhi Chauhan from Meri Awaz Suno days and Alka Ajith.

How awesome is Temple Run 2 !!!!!!!

I am not an avid gamer and I have a tendency to play either language based games like Scrabble, Letterplay, Hangman etc or Sports based games like cricket and tennis. However, Temple Run 2 is just mind-blowing... the graphics are out of the world, the beast is scary and the rest of the obstacles genuinely challenging. The only problem is that I suck at it... but then that is just now. Gimme 3 more months :-)