4 duds and a classic

I've not been to a cinema-hall for a long time but these last 2 weekends have been a little easy on the work front so managed to catch up with all the recent "hits" and I must admit that I felt a little let-down. If I had to make a straight choice between like and dislike, I "liked" just 1 and "disliked" 4 - 20% just means I don't seem to be missing much.

Ethir Neechal
When a director zeroes on the name of the hero as the premise of his film, you know fully well that the movie has no lofty ambition. All they hope to do is provide a few laughs and pray that the audience does not feel cheated of the Rs 100 and 2.5 hrs they have just spent. Ethir Neechal just about manages this but what made me double up with laughter more than Siva Karthikeyan's character's name or even him winning the marathon against the Africans (has that ever happened anywhere in the world?) was the way Anirudh's sound track was worked into the film. It just did not fit - there is such a thing as mood and setting - and the less said about Poetu Dhanish, the better.

Thillu Mullu 2
A pale imitation when compared to the original. I will not even get into comparisons with Rajinikant but suffice to say that Shiva is passable and he is the best thing about the movie. The rest of the starcast is very weak - I personally prefer watching Prakash Raj doing his millionth typecast villain role like in Singham (Tamil, Hindi and Tulu versions) as compared to his Vasoolraja or Thillu Mullu 2 type of roles. Kovai Sarala is a shocking bit of casting which has now opened my eyes to that under-stated genius called Sowkar Janaki and Isha Talwar is not fit to be Madhavi's make-up girl. Changing the setting from football to IPL was a master stroke but the idea's potential was somehow lost in execution. YSRs music was *puke*

Theeya Velai Seyyanum Kumaru
A message to Siddharth - please stop giving/trying to give us that "I am so Paavum" look. It so resembles the "I have cancer and I am so anguished" look you so unsuccessfully tried in 180 and the two are VERY DIFFERENT EMOTIONS.... and you suck at them anyway. Sundar C returns to doing what he is best at - making extremely unfunny comedies. If there was an Oscar category for Best Facial Contortion, we can declare Hansika STR (Sorry, Hansike Motwani) the de facto winner till people FINALLY realise Kushbu could actually act and this one is not a patch on the previous version. We Tamilians are not stupid to build temples for just a pretty face. SANTHANAM - TAKE A BREAK, MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singam - 2
My intelligence was insulted and my ear-drums assaulted by this horrible monstrosity of a summer blockbuster. What Karthi with Siruthai + Saguni and Surya With 7 Aum Arivu + Maatraan + this sorry excuse of an entertainer have done is to erode all the currency and goodwill that I had for the Sivakumar family. Enough is enough - no more movies of this duo for the next 18 months till they learn their lessons and dish out decent fare. Having watched Singam 1 in telly a few times, when I look back now, even the original wasn't that great. Of course, I loved the movie when it was released but am beginning to suspect it was more the company with whom I saw it. sigh. How I miss those days.

PS: Since when did Surya's family entertainers have so much vulgarity and crass jokes? Double thumbs down.

Lootera
Finally a movie I wished I had spent Rs 180 (gulpp) and watched at the theatre. Sheer poetry. Golly, who thought Sonakshi Sinha could actually act? Anyway, I could never see beyond her forehead so maybe I need to go back and revisit Dabangg 2 and Rowdy Rathore... or, maybe not :-) Ranveer Singh proved to the world what I knew all along - that he could get out of his loutish, playboy image and actually rein himself in to play a soft, subtle character....and he is fast raking up a reputation for some awesome onscreen kissing :-) Yes, the O Henry ending is gimmicky and the thotha analogy literally had me in splits but this is a movie well worth spending 2 hrs of your time....and I don't want to sound orgasmic (again) but Amit Trivedi's background score and sound track are just mindblowing - the Album of the year for me so far. Highly recommended.

Coming soon: Maryan, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, Pacific Rim and the masala film of the year.....wait......wait..... not Chennai Express........no........ Thalaivaaaaaaaa

The sorry state of Summer sales

I am just back from my 2nd (and hopefully last) visit to the Summer sales and I have to admit that I've been very disappointed this season. There are very few "great deals" to be had and some of the sneaky tactics I've seen retailers employ clearly tell me that they are desperate and will stop at NOTHING to show both top-line growth and profitability.  Majority of the half page ads with FLAT 50% off are downright misleading since most of them are valid only on MULTI-BUY (Buy 3, get 50% off) and then there is always the 5% VAT to add :( Also, some of the sales had stock as old as Manufactured in Dec 2011 which leads me to believe that we, in India, are probably also going through a phase of cautious consumer spending. Considering I have sworn NEVER to pay full price for clothes in India, I still left with enough to last me till January or even next July so can't really complain, can I? :(

Crossword bookstores was the final pit-stop for today and I was bemused to see them advertise 15% off on books as "Massive savings". That's the bare minimum available on the net, even at places like Flipkart (who have completely lost the plot btw), so unless you don't have an internet connection at home or simply have loads of loose change  to blow, there is no reason/excuse to buy at the store. Yes, Crossword have woken upto this trend and their store's real estate has dramatically shifted to 30-40% books, 10-20% music & movies and the remaining is now all Toys and Games - yet, I saw a typical DICW1CBA1LAB buy books worth INR 6000 odd during their short 20 mt detour into the shop. There was none of the opening the book, flipping through the pages, reading some stuff, liking it and dwelling on the "to buy or not to buy" idea.... It was just like a department store - they came, they saw (the cover, and recognised a few authors), they picked and they paid. Whew !!!!

The saving grace of the whole outing was eating pani-puri (or golgappas as my Northy friends would call 'em) outside the mall despite the slight drizzle. They were so yummmmmm... and they cost me just 10 bucks for 7 pieces. Now, that's a deal that I get all year around  :-)

PS: DICW1CBA1LAB - Double Income Couple With 1 Cute Baby and 1 Loud, Annoying Brat

PS1: There was 1 awesome deal in the DVDs sales section. The Master was available at 50% off - I deliberated a lot but finally ended up not buying it. Much as I really like Paul Thomas Anderson (and you SHOULD see Punch Drunk Love) and have a crush on the gorgeous Amy Adams, Philip-Seymour Hoffman in a serious movie is an absolute no-no. Remember DOUBT !

H2 CY 2013 - Kollywood wish list

Today is a light day at work so while I wait to get back home and download MARYAN and listen to the songs, I was thinking of 10 things I could do less with in Kollywood this year and then this list quickly flashed through my mind. Wonder how many people will agree with me on this.

1. "Poetu" Dhanush
2. "Singer" Yuvan Shankar Raja
3. "Villain" Prakash Raja
4. "Hero" Cheran
5. "Comedy king" Udhayanidhi
6. "Director" Vikraman/Vasanth
7. "Producer" Action King Arjun
8. Superhit remakes from Malayalam
9. Gaana songs like Ora Kannaale
10. Politics in controversies like Viswaroopam and Kadal

Why on earth do we need FACEBOOK?

This is a rant and will be a long one at that too. If you're an unabashed fan of social networks (and by that I mostly mean you "FACEBOOK" in CAPS, BOLD, TIMES NEW ROMAN, 42 font), then you’re either going to hate me because you just don’t agree with me (or) you’re gonna hate my guts for exactly saying things that you know to be true but wouldn’t dare acknowledge in public. Either way you’re gonna hate me so here we go.

Who am I connected to in Facebook?

Mostly friends & acquaintances from school and college, a few well-wishers & contacts from childhood, some associates & colleagues from work and of course, distant and close relatives.

How did I get connected with them?

Very few people by choice, a few by chance, many others by a harmless mistake of assuming they were the same people that I “knew” from the past, some by emotional blackmail and the remaining by social compulsion.

What do these people typically post?

Across all categories of people – those I have known from the 80s to the people I’ve had the “privilege” of knowing only from last week - the posting behaviors are similar.

40% of the time, these folks post insanely boring, mundane slices of their life - stuff that used to be just random thoughts inside people's minds pre Feb-2004

The ones that "amused" me most

·         Mmm... The molagu rasam I made today smells good. Here is the recipe (36 Likes, 17 comments)

·         Bored at home. Tried my hand at Pulli Kolam & Neli Kolam. See picture below (145 Likes, 104 NRI comments, 3 Resident Indian comments)

·         Found this nice library near home with lots of books on how to solve Level 5 Sudoku puzzles (16 likes and 3 comments)

30% of the time, content revolves around personal stuff that would never have found a way into public domain before Mark Zuckerberg got drunk one night

Here are some best of the worst

·         Rahul enters 3rd round of Squash tournament in school (18 Likes and 35 Congrats comments)

Incidentally, Rahul is 8 yrs old and his 1st rd was a bye and his 2nd rd opponent gave a walk-over due to suspected dysentery. NO KIDDING.

·         Pictures from our daughter's Birthday party - Meira turns 6 (0 Likes and 0 comments)

...where participation was ensured by publicising in advance that return gifts for kids would be an Ipod, all lovingly captured by the photo-crazy but not so popular parents.

·         Honeymoon snaps from Peru posted 16th Feb (255 Likes and 201 drooling comments)

...oh yes, the marriage was on 14th February and ALMOST all snaps have only the newly wed bride in them and she is the one posting on Facebook.

·         Skiing in the Alps with Manas and Robert  (1 like and 1 comment)

Sent to ALL the unfortunate 140 in the 'Friends' list including the 138 who don’t know Manas and/or Robert

·         With Sunny Leone at Mumbai airport (11 Likes and 34 comments)

I suspect most of the comments were requests for phone number

20% of the time, I am assaulted with insightful opinions, thought-provoking views and earth-shattering ideas

The winners are

·         Chris Gayle rocks !! (146 likes, 44 comments)

·         I love my iPhone 5 (14 likes, 6 comments)

·         Sharapova & Dimitrov…Tasty (33 likes, 12 comments including a couple of broken heart emoticons)

·         Just saw Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani trailor - Ranbir is soooooooo cute....(733 likes, 10 comments)

The Likes to Comments ratio says it all

·         Happy Republic Day (52 likes, 21 comments)

It's not like its Mother's Day or Father's Day, it’s Republic Day for God’s sake !!!!!!!!!!!

It’s the remaining 10% of content that I really wish I could filter and read. ALAS.

…and if you don’t agree with any of my above observations, here is my last anecdote which hopefully will open a few eyes on what to post / what not to post and more importantly, who to share with.

I was catching up with an old friend of mine from college days and after a few beers were down, my pal opened up and bared his heart out about all his old conquests and the ones that had spurned him.  Logging quickly to FB through his “high-end mobile”, he showed me a picture of one of our old classmates with her two kids and remarked that the little ones could have been his, instead there he was miles away from her and pressing LIKE to all her photographs.

I rest my case. End of rant.

The Alone Times - 1

….and so its Day 1 of my new found Bachelorhood v 2.0.  So far it’s been incident-free but I am not hopeful that this run will continue long. In fact, I’d be surprised if it lasted till dinner time.  Sigh.

*Flash-backs to arbitrary moments from the past 6 years*

J: Damn, its 645 already. Is the geyser on? Have you picked what I should wear today? Coffee ready-a? Can you drop me at the bus stop? Please helppppppppppppppppp.

J: We WILL NOT watch Gautam Vasudev Menon movies ever again. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

(2 weeks later) J:Please dee… shall we watch NEPV? Kenji kekkaraen….

J: Should we paint this yellow or blue?

M: Why not green?

J: But isn’t green so *******?

M: Yeah but it depends on the shade you pick? I say yellow

J: …but blue is soooooooo nice.

M: If you want blue, why don’t you just say so?

J

J: Coffee is too light….Coffee romba strong today….Too much sugar….Missing a little sugar……ayyo, way tooooooooo hot….Cheee, aari pochu !!!....why is there so much norai in my kaapi L

J: Why are my jeans ironed along the imaginary pleat? Is he an idiot? Can you please salvage this?

J: I can’t decide which shirt to buy.  This is really nice but way too expensive. This is okie dokie but fits my budget perfectly.

J: I don’t want anything for my birthday.. Nothing… no seriously nothing… except maybe, can we go to the Arsenal Carling Cup game? Woooooooohooooooooooo

(Tring Tring) J: Why don’t you pick the phone? It’s always your relatives

M: I’m cooking - That ring-tone is your aunt’s. Speak to her and ask her about her health.

J:  You’re my better half. My aunt is now your relative – please speak to her and tell her I’m on an important call. It’s the 84^th minute and Stoke are drawing Tottenham.  We need this to finish 4^th. Please.

 

*end of flasback*

Jupe misses M (already).  Count-down begins.

2 Fantastic songs to listen on continuous loop

Poraane Poraane - Vaagai Sooda Vaa (Ghibran)

Mazhai varum - Veppam (Joshu Sridhar)

Turning the clock back: IPL - A Phenomenon

• I always thought there was a huge market for a product like the IPL in a cricket-mad country like India.
• I was also confident that the format would unearth and engage a new set of people including women and family audiences.
• I all foresaw how it would make us a superpower in the cricketing world stage and how the money would bring every star from across the cricket playing fraternity down on his knees wanting to be a part of the annual circus.
• What I was a little apprehensive about was the reaction & response from the purists and the followers of old school cricket (read: Tests) but even this has surprised me.
• What I completely did not expect to happen was for the frenzy to last 6 full seasons and even relegate our other national obsession, movies, completely to the background for these 6-8 weeks.

Wowwwwwwwww.....Really.... Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww

Today, my 9 year old cousin has her favorite franchise and she looks at me perplexed when I tell her I couldn't care less. Of course, I am expected to root for Chennai Super Kings (and heck, I even have a cheap but original Dhoni jersey) but then I have no choice. If there was a TPL (TamilNadu Premier League), I'd rather die than support Chennai but then....

I have been so on-and-off IPL that I realised only last week that Shadab Jakati was not even figuring for "my" CSK. Whatever happened to him? Looks like our new unsung hero / season's flavour is Mohit Sharma.

The other big news is that my junior & buddy from school days Rajagopalan Sathish is (again) struggling to make a mark for himself. Except for the 27 runs he scored during that memorable 130 run partnership with Miller, he's hardly set the stage on fire. Tsk Tsk.

Virat Kohli has to be the most outrageously talented but utterly obnoxious cricketer I have seen in my life. The less said about his on-field nautanki the better.

Rajasthan Royals, everyone's 2nd favourite team (unless you are from Rajasthan itself), have again been a pleasant surprise. It's magical to see a couple of old senior pros like Dravid, Hodge mix with the likes of Ajinkya Rahane, Sid Trivedi, Sanju Samson/Vishwanadh, Dishant Yagnik and conjure up one amazing truimph after another. Way to go RR !!!

The cheerleaders continue to suck, Sidhu and Jadeja are still boring and listening to Gavasakar spout gyaan on T20 still drives me mad.

Btw, I think Preity looks cuter than Shilpa Shetty. Come sue me.

Thaandavam

Caught up with the full movie finally over this weekend and was pleasantly suprised that the film is actually good in parts. I'm still not convinced that Vijay is a top director and I am amazed he manages to get so many A-listers to work with him but to give him his due, he does get some things consistently right - has an ear for music, shoots songs imaginatively & makes some interesting heroine choices.

Kireedom was strictly average, Madarasapattinam didn't set my world on fire, Deiva Thirumagal was melodramatic drivel and so you could forgive me for expecting Thandaavam to be nothing more than a star vehicle hidden under meaningless layers of a disability turned & tuned into a strength.

Kenny (aka Vikram) has long been out of favor with me and when I heard some of his interviews about Daniel Kish and echolocation, I was petrified.  Thankfully, he is tolerable in the film and though he's visibly aged, Anushka looks a dream and is a sight for sore eyes. Amy Jackson can't act but who cares. The songs are melodious and Oru Paadhi in particular is haunting. There are genuinely magical moments of romance and the whole meeting-knowing-befriending-falling in love-marrying thread turned upside down is heartwarming. Take note self proclaimed king of romance GVM.

All in all, not bad, not bad at all.

Weekend F1 action

I love a German in any sport, more so a successful one and if it's someone with no scruples about winning, I dig them completely. Think Michael Schumacher...Hmmm...Much as I admire/respect Seb Vettel and his 3 championships, somehow his blantant violation of team orders just didn't feel right. Team orders by themselves are rubbish but this was one race Webber absolutely deserved to win. Some part of me tells me Vettel will pay for this and there will be consequences at the business end of the season.

Anyway, here is thalaivar also weighing in on the matter...Germans othanukku othan uttu kudukkave maatengalae :)

Loose Hamilton was comical diving into the McLaren pit-lane. PLONKER.

New age Tamil patriots and their politics

Attacking a Buddhist monk who has come on an educational/spiritual visit, boycotting Sri Lankan players with plans to disrupt IPL matches featuring them, attacking the Aurobindo Ashram just because another maverick in Bengal made a supposedly inflammatory comment disparaging Tamil Eelam sentiments – I can’t seem to recognize the new Tamil Nadu any more.

The State is fast getting radicalized – common sense politics has all but vanished and fringe elements have now come to occupy the center-stage. Students are now on the roads agitating for their brethren across the Palk Strait but considering these are all Art, Science and Law students, I am assuming college has become boring and they would like nothing more than to pick some loser-of-a-cause and get themselves on national media. The unemployed youth are angry – at anything and everything – and radical political outfits are using them smartly as vote banks to dictate their own divisive agenda and priorities.

Unless things have dramatically changed in the last 2 years, did the DMK not lose power in the state despite raking up the Tamil cause just before the last assembly elections? Can’t people see that a politician with a promising future like Vai Ko has been reduced to a rabble rousing, rhetoric spouting non entity?  Don’t people in the state care about the rising living costs, the lack of power – are they more concerned about the Sinhala government supposedly oppressing Tamils in far-away Kandy?  When we should be focusing on getting our act together in our home-ground, why do we care about the problems across the divide?

Madness, I say.

Media and Entertainment - 5 absolutely arbit comments

1.      I’ve gone full circle as far as newspapers go – I have tried them all from the masala Times of India, the boring and bland Deccan Herald, the sober/ serious and left-leaning Hindu, the young and wannabe Mint and that sorry toilet paper (which poses as a newspaper) called Indian express but nothing gives me any degree of satisfaction. The best I can say is that TOI is good value for money considering I get 70% of my money back through the old newspaper route. Serious news be damned, atleast can’t we have something trashy and fun like The Sun J

2.      Sports Podcasts and blogs are fast losing my attention and mindshare. I am 2 weeks behind on my Sunday Supplement quota and 3 episodes on Football Weekly with AC Jimbo. It’s been ages since I read Sid, Rafa or Paolo.

3.      Sequels just don’t work….definitely not the shameless commercial rip-offs like the Race, Jism, Murder, Jannat series but not even the ones with great potential like Don or Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster. GOW2 is the only honorable exception I can remember in recent times but then it was a 2 part movie and not necessarily a sequel.

4.      If movies like Kanna Laddu Thinna Aasaiya (omigawd) and Onbadhulu Guru (which I’ve not seen) which have absolutely no plot and are a string of gags put together become decent hits, why aren’t the likes of SV Shekar and  Crazy Mohan not producing new plays. The concept is the same and the cost of producing and staging plays has to be cheaper and more profitable in the long run. Hmmmmm.

5.      Recently, someone who I’ll not name told me that Sivaji Ganesan and Kamal Haasan might be good actors but the finest actor he’s ever seen was Radhika.  As proof, he showcased Vani Rani, the mega serial currently running in Sun TV. I was speechless then and am still at a loss for words. Seriously.

Room for indulgence

The problem with living in a 2BHK (and a compact one at that) is the fact that there is very little room in the house to indulge in your favorite hobbies.  As a result, I have completely filled up all the space in my bookshelf and my DVD collecting is bursting at the seams which means I am under strict orders to BUY ONE LET ONE GO.

Of course, having an iPad (I am gonna keep plugging this for the next 10 years so my loyal readership of 4 needn’t even bother to complain) which can house all the pirated eBooks really helps but there are still some books that you want to get your hands on, smell the paper, flip through the pages and savor for the future. Also, having original DVDs help since you get access to some lovely bonus content not to mention the interesting behind the scenes features and options of sub-titles J

Books I wish I could add to my library

1.       Narcopolis – Jeet Thayil

2.       On Warne – Gideon Haigh

3.       *surprise surprise* Inferno - Dan Brown (come May 17^th)

DVDs I’m trying to create space for

1.       Skyfall

2.       Looper

3.       Gangs of Wasseypur 1 and 2

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh

Technology is moving fast. Way too fast for my liking. I have an iPad 3 and just when I was thinking of also getting myself a 7” tablet, specifically the Nexus 7, the market is flooded with a million new products, each one better and cheaper than my previous choice… and add Phablets to the mix and throw in some really new Windows 8 smartphones and I am utterly and completely confused.  How I yearn for the days of my first Nokia which could just help me with calls and text - a nice n heavy copper sulphate blue phone. Sigh.

Just when you think that the Spuds will run away with 4^th place and the Gunners will finally be out of Europe next year (which will hopefully prompt the exit of Wenger), our noisy neighbors go ahead and start on their usual, self destructive end of season form….and the Gunners also come away with 2 consecutive clean sheets.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. Looks like I will have to endure 1 more horrible season under Arsene Wenger. Sigh.

I like Jwala Gutta. I didn’t know why. I used to find her very cute. Even hottttt. Not like the over-hyped Sania Mirza or even the miss-goody-shoes Saina Nehwal but definitely worth a dekho. And then someone at work had to burst my bubble and shock me. He said I liked her only because I probably prayed at the altar of Namitha and all we Tamilians just like Size 16 as opposed to a Kareena Kapoor Size 0 in Tashan.  Let me clarify once and for all – I really like Kareena Kapoor too - but he might have actually been right about Jwala. Now, when I look at stills of her guest appearance as an item girl in a Telugu movie, all I can think about is Namitha. Sigh.

Another year at work and despite closing in on the green tag, March still gives me nightmares. It’s the time to fill in appraisals and as you get senior, there is lesser English and more hard, cold metrics that get into your performance review.  While FY 12-13 has been good to me, I still wish I could roll back the clock to 10 years ago when appraisal time was fun. Sigh.

Birthdays used to be fun in the past. It was all about wearing new clothes, eating sweets and savories and getting gifts from people. As you grow older, you realize that it’s time for you to start returning the good deeds and you end up spending weeks, if not months, thinking of what would be appropriate gifts to the awesome people around you. How you wish you could just get away with gift cheques but then, when you have a reputation like I do of being a thoughtful, warm, considerate person, then the pressure to come up with a wonderful gift is all the more nerve-wracking. Sigh.

Life is tough

Do you paint your 'old house' in one colour or do you use different colours for different rooms so much so that it looks like the sets for Shankar's fantasy songs like Aska Laska or Andankaaka Kondakaari?

Do you keep it plain & simple and use solids (or) do you experiment with CRINKLE, DAPPLE, CANVAS, COMBING, RAGGING, SPONGING or BRUSHING effect?

Whoever knew colors had so much personality - Is Pink too girly, is Blue too loud, is Yellow too dhinchak, is Orange too wannabe, is Green too you-know-what, is Grey too dull and is White just plan boring?

Whoever thought a simple painting job would involve a million tough choices? Why can't I just blink my eyes, open and voila - have a beautiful house like they show in the Asian Paints ads?

*sigh*

Aaron Sorkin is G-O-D (Part 2)

Is it possible to have a rant better than this?