Monday, May 31, 2004

I made mine long back..

..Wots ur choice?

The following piece is a compilation of some very candid confessions - secrets darker than what Gestapo has ever collected - of four of my closest friends. Most of it came verbatim from the proverbial horse's mouth (asides included). Acknowledgements to the
girlfriends-turned-spouses of two of my pals for their inputs too. Sorry guys, but I had to use this old piece since I ran out of stuff to write on my blog today - u know just like Uppma served at hotels :-)

12 new reasons to stay single unless you fancy...

Its early days:

* Going down on your knees persuading a common friend (to you and your gal) to get you a favorable intro and her phone number.

* Bribing this "obnoxious saheli" (yeah, by now she's not needed - more so since she wants to know everything thats happening ) to keep you posted on the other men in your gal's life.

* Getting turned down thrice (that’s the average..of course, law of averages don’t always work) and putting up with your gal's "play-hard-to-get" nakras for a normal Rs. 30 Capuccino date @ Barista. (Cheapskate I always was)

* Lying through your teeth that you spent hours in selecting the mushiest card at Archies for her Birthday. (Hey, they just hiked prices too :-()

The middle of the marathon:

* Sleeping through a movie of Brad Pitt / Ben Affleck or for that matter any handsome dude dimly aware that she's gushing on and on about the creep. (Thank God she atleast likes Rajini)

* Listening to her detailed arguments on how Butter popcorn has lesser calories than Caramel popcorn.(need to check on the veracity of her claims though)

* Replying to her mails of "Kya chal raha hai" once every 10 minutes, then professing your undying love once every hour and religiously forwarding every forward you get so that she does not miss a thing in your life. (I actually used to do that last part -
don’t laugh)

* Spending half an hour everyday on the phone discussing what the lunch menu at her office was and how she resisted eating all of the above since she was dieting. (Thankfully our future roti bill should balance our kapda bill)

* Walking in and out of a million clothes shops, asking your opinion on the colors / texture/looks / what-not for hours only to see her finally pick up the first tops she saw
at the first store.

The last mile:

* Nodding in agreement to her plans for a "simple wedding" which include an invitee list of only 1400 people, chef duties by Arusuvai Natarajan, reception concert by Mandolin Srinivas (she actually thinks he's cho chweet - Marriage counsellor, here we come!) and a honeymoon at Bali (Damn Hrithik and his KNPH)

* Getting into a discussion on the finest detail of everything from the size of the wash basin in "our" dream house to the color of the walls of the kennel of her favorite Lab, Roger - you haven't heard it all - all this hours before your engagement ceremony.

* Sacrificing your quality time in front of the TV watching "dumb", "manly" sports like Basketball and Formula One in favor of more refined choices like soaps on Sony and Zee.

Enough is enough :-)

I think, therefore I am... single. (Due apologies to Rene Descartes) But i do realise that your perspective could be different - Mind letting me know :-)

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