Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The story of a Tam Brahm - written by a Tam Brahm - for the benefit of Tam Brahms

Hello $$$$, eppdi irukka ?
Dei ngomma...engada irundha all these days ?
*whispers* I am fine..Just came back from the US last week
I can't hear u loosu...besides ennada orey Petera irukku ?
I am with someone here and she doesn't know Thamizh very well so can we please continue in English
Of course.. So wassup dude ?
The rest of the story later... but this is an emergency...I need you to come to The Forum immedietly...
I just came back from shopping for clothes there....Besides its Saturday evening and it will be terribly crowded dude...Plssssssssssss.....
Its important asshole
Great...so you've brought me oranges from Florida ? Give me 30 mts and I will be there..
It can't wait that long...Its urgent.. grab some clothes, catch an auto and come here soon...and don't ask questions

CLICK

Dei, you've really put on weight...
Later...Later....
Why are you so tense ?
Do not interrrupt. Hear me out. OK ?
Thats sounds so mysterious... All ears now...sollu...
You know my dad, right ? Been after my goat to get married for the last 18 months...well, I could not resist any longer...So as things stand, I am here today as part of the 'ponnu paarthufying' procedure...
WTF...
Sssssssh..not so loud..she's looking at us...
who ? where ?
Don't turn now... there towards the left corner behind the escalator...
Gimme in degrees of the clock, baadu
8 o clock...
Tall, fair lady...Red salwar ? Waittt...haven't I seen her somewhere..and who is the other chick ?
Dunno.. but yes, she is Vandana... remember my Dad's best friend Mohan Uncle.. you've seen him in our house... fat man with a loud laugh...she's his daughter....ennavo jaadagum ellam serndhaachaam.. of course, they say I am under no pressure to agree and I can say Yes only if I like her but u know how this thing works, right... all of them want me to marry her
...so wots ur problem ? If she is cool, agree nuh...
wait... she's a very modern, progressive girl....she wants to have a chat with me..and she has brought along a friend too... so I thought I would also have one for moral support..
why me ?
C'mon you are the God of all such things..Besides you talk so much and get along with everyone so well that even if I get nervous or goof up, you can cover for me...
Sod off mate...
See, there is stuff I need to clarify with her too from my side....she's spent all her life in Delhi and visited Chennai only for her holidays.. so am not sure she knows our kalachaaram well.....and I would like to chk it very casually...and it helps when I can be with someone with whom I am relaxed... and you fit the bill dude... pls...
Kalachaarma ? Appdinna ? Are you crazy ? Besides what makes you think I wont get nervous and screw up.. and I surely don't want to be held responsible if this thing fails coz of sthg stupid I did...How about uncle and Aunty ? They are OK with this thing ?
They suggested you. They seem to think you are mature and sensible.
Shittttttttt..
Lets go.. Just play it by ear, will you..


Hi Vandana, this is the ##### I was telling you about.. We used to call him $$$$ at college
Hi #####...Btw, this is my friend Aarthi...She caught you stealing glances when you were talking with Satish and she wants to ask you something....
*bloody embarassed* Vandanaaaaaaaa...
*embarassed* So Vandana, how do you find Bangalore ?
Its nice and pleasant
and how about Satish ?
*blushing like crazy* Machaan, not fair da
Ha Ha..He's nice and he doesn't have an accent which does say a lot.
Hahahahaha...
So Vandana, you were saying that there were a couple of things that you wanted to clarify..
Yeah...See Satish, I have learnt Classical Music for almost 11 years now and I so dearly want to continue. If at all we get married, I hope you won't mind that.
Of course not
....and there is this car, a Hyundai Accent, that I have gifted my Dad on his 60th Birthday for which I had taken a loan...I am repaying that with my salary and it should be over in another 11 months so if we do get married, I wish to continue that. You have any objections ?
*embarassed* Maybe Aarthi and I will just wander around near Cookie Man... You guys want anything ?
Sit down #####. No need to be embarassed. You will have to go through all this sometime soon.
No objections.
Great. I am done. I am sure you have something to ask of me.
Hmmmm.. no...nothing much...
Come on...Be honest...
Ok... I know this sounds stupid but do you watch movies ?
Yes, I do
....and do you like Shah Rukh Khan ?
No..
Thank God. Coz I hate him.
In fact i can't stand him too.. But seriously was that an eliminating condition ?
*embarassed* Not at all
*smiles* What else ?
I know this sounds horribly sexist but can you cook? I am not saying you should be a housewife and all but honestly I am such a foodie...
He is, trust me
.....and even if you can't cook, if you like good food then it will help...its easier you see.. shucks, this is coming out all wrong...
I understand. and fyi, I cook pretty well.
That is the understatement of the year. She cooks wonderfully well.
Anything else ?
Hmmm...Noo...
I think there is something else...
How did you know ? Am i that predictable ?
*smiles* go ahead
I do hope you don't think I am crazy but since u were brought up in Delhi, I was just wondering if you know how we folks down South celebrate Gokulashtami...do you also draw Krishnar's paadhums all over the house ? and stuff like that....
Fyi, Amma and I wear madisaars...and we draw the kolams..and btw, I can even prepare uppu cheedai and vella cheedai all by myself..
Reallllllllllly ?
Yeah
Oh boyyyyyyyyyyyy
So anything else ?
No
So can we break the good news to our folks ?
*embarassed* are you always so open ?
Arre, kalyanum ellarum pannanum..I am happy its atleast with someone I have heard so much about from my childhood. I am not going to blush or do girly stuff now.
Hahahahahaha
Why are you laughing ?
Your Thamizh is so Delhiish
*feigns a kick* Don't you ever say that again. Why don't you join us for dinner ?
Nopes.. Havta go home..besides I don't want to be kabaab mein haddi ;-)

Thank You Lord for reinforcing my faith in our Tam Brahm tribe. To hell with love marriages if arranged marriages can be so absofreakalutely lovely :-)

22 comments:

Man with no Name said...

Dude, U forgot one another thing.. U didn't ask if she blogged? For all U know, she might be a fan of Ur blog.. or worse, a regular in mines.. hahahhhahahahah.. and thats the worst :)))

Any-which-way Congragulations!! Celebrations are in order I see.. and I be so freakin glad for U dude!!!

OK said...

Y cook Seedai when it can be bot off the shelf @ Nilgiris ?

:P

Ri said...

I can see somethig BIG is happening here but i cannot understand a word of that freaking gibberish in tamil !! someone translate please !!

Sud said...

So it was finally (F, 24, 5'5", B.E / PGDM, Rohini, Carnatic Music), huh?

Jupe said...

Sud,
You sic freak....This one is more or less a true story but the other article was a sarcy comment on the state of affairs...of course u didnt get it coz u r a numbskull :-p Take my word, don't ever marry...I cant even imagine the poor girl's plight if she has to endure u for a lifetime

Ri,
U aint Tam Brahm so U wont ensoii it...dont try too hard... chill...

OK,
Dont disguise ur obvious lack of cuilinary skills under the excuse of convenience...baaaaah...

MWNN
I am not losing singleton status that soon buddy...I was the other guy (#####) in this exchange... but haan, you jes reminded me, I need to delete my blog when 'the search' starts ;-) Cant let these women know the other side of us, can we...

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one whu gets all ur stories rite? I must be going mad then :)

Anonymous said...

College'la Satish yaarupa idhu? Or is this also fiction........

dumbs said...

why r people from b'lore so obsessed with Forum?....r there no better places there?

Yet Another Tam Brahm said...

BTW, one does not wear MADISAARs before marriage. But the female protagonist says that both SHE wears it!

Guess she got the kalaachaaram all wrong!

;-)

Jupe said...

YATB,
Ferpectly right buddy....Prolly she meant 9 gajam sarees, which again I suspect is reserved only for married women...and I was so tempted to correct her but only thing was that I wasn't confident myself and I definitely did not want to open my big mouth unless I was 388% sure...

Hmmm..so ppl do read these 'stories' with a magnifying lens eh ? ;-)

Dumbs,
I second, third and eighty fifth you...and you haven't even seen this stupid place..

Anon2,
Names were slightly changed to protect privacy of individuals but there were enough hints in it to give away the person in Q...think think...

Anon1,
Lets jes call u ultra perceptive...Now thats a compliment so dont u ever complain again :-p

Anonymous said...

how do I put it ?...you owe me quite a few so calling in one now. Can we have no more stories pleez ;)

Jupe said...

I think you have a point.
Done :-)

meera said...

ok wow....whts it with ppl around the world?? or is just south india or more specifically tamilnadu??? there seems to be such a bout of ponnu pathufying and horoscopes matching and people doing parihaaram and all!!! its crazy!!!

Anonymous said...

Boss it aint so easy ...

You got to the easier part of girl meets boy !!

Arranged TAM BRAHM MARRIAGES have this GD and Panel Interviews and reviews by Josiers which is terrifying , and not to fgt recommendations of sloppy candidates by top brass....

SHeesh.....Its scary !! but your blog, makes me wanna still go for it !!!


Anu

GWBE said...

Hilarious and very sweet.

And this was what you were doing on Saturday evening huh?

:P

Venks said...

waahhhh...Jupieee get me married off too..BTW did u pick up Aarti's number....dude...if u didnt U have no hope...if u did, I will be in India next week to pick tht number from you....

In Any case machchi....now I see the flow of ur posts, having realised tht those mushy posts wont get you any love, you are turning to the oldest escape route in Tam brahm history...

neways hope u will learn once u meet my Swedish wife..(sorry wrote tht for false bandha..machchi..get me also arranged into a marriage...)

Vasu the terrible said...

ya... you know there is always that option...

informative hmm...

vasu

Anonymous said...

Highly entertaining! This is the first link that showed up on a Google search for "tam brahms"!
You should keep blogging "about Tam Brahms - for the benefit of Tam Brahms"!!

The Psycho Blogger said...

totally agree dude :) bein a tambrahm myself, its just 2 hilarious.

The Psycho Blogger said...

actually wht scares me most is not the ponnu pathufying but th 3 day marriage tht follows if u go thru with it :P

Haritha said...

how come she and her amma wore madi saar prior to her getting married ?

I dont know who you are, but congrats anyway :)

Divya Mohan said...

Loved it!!!!!!!!!!! :))