Monday, October 14, 2013

Dealing with loss

When you lose someone dear, it is always a very painful blow to take. The usual platitudes of "he's lived a long and fulfilling life" "It's always better to die peacefully than in pain" "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away" all seem (to ME atleast) tired cliches or trite, meaningless much so that I just switch off.

My default first reaction seems to be one of shock/despair/feeling of emptyness or hollowness and it usually takes me quite sometime to even accept that the loss is permanent. I then seem to always fall into a shell and look back fondly at all the pleasant memories that defined my relationship with the person which invariably ends with me ruing the fact that it will never happen again....and then, the strangest thing happens to me. I rarely cry. I go into full denial mode and become an ostrich - I distract myself with reading, writing, cleaning, walking, anything that will take my mind off the situation at hand for a good 2-3 days. Sometimes, I worry about even this approach. I guess we all have our ways of coping with loss.

Anyway, I'll miss you Maama - outside of immediate family, I think you were one of the few people who was ALWAYS hoping and wishing the best for me and I really valued and cherished that. 

No comments: