Friday, July 02, 2004

Brave and Gallant Me

I did it. I won my first serious battle at home. Nopes - am in no way referring to the usual "Why don't you cut down on your sleep and start exercising ?" or "When do you plan to settle down ?" arguments. My folks are chill. I am talking of this BIG FIGHT between me and the cockroaches. These pests have been bugging me for over a month now and much as I’ve tried to keep my house clean, they keep popping up from nowhere. Taking my mom's advice, I tried that magic chalk powder but the ones in Bangalore seem to be wiser than the average Joe. HIT and other repellants had also failed. So cometh the hour, cometh the man. Tuesday night, broom in hand, I attacked them. Guerilla warfare. I hid behind doors (assuming they can see me) and surprised them. My, my, did they retaliate. They ran like crazy. What happened next..

Commercial break ke baad

Trivia 1 for the day: Cockroaches are among the fastest running insects, capable of 50 body lengths per second, which is equivalent to a human running the 100 yard dash in 1 second.

Shah Rukh Khan
, with a silly grin on his face and a sporty Nike shoe in hand, hams "Haaaaan..If you wanna run faster than these cockroaches, use NIKE. Just do it."

(Commercial break over)

Silly ol' me had forgotten to close the doors. Needless to say they started escaping to other rooms and I had great trouble restricting their movement. Hurrying behind them and taking pot-shots once in a while, I soon claimed 3 victims. But there were atleast 5-6 left. Next weapon to be used was the bucket. Standing a good 2 feet away from them, I threw a bucket on a couple of 'em the intention being to closet them within that and suffocate them by cutting off their oxygen supply after 3 minutes. 3 minutes ke baad, when I opened the bucket, Lo....what happened next

Last commercial break ke baad

Trivia 2 for the day: Cockroaches can survive even nuclear attacks.

Amitabh Bachchan
, with his deep baritone voice, says " Wanna eradicate cockroaches. Send them to watch Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. Bol diya tho bol diya"

(Commercial break over)

The damn things almost flew at me. Okie, maybe I am exaggerating but they sure took off towards me. Screaming and stomping my foot on them at the same time, I managed to get two more. Bravo Jupe ! Now all that was left was the final assault. Summoning up all my courage, having a small flash back about the numerous instances in the past when they had embarrassed me in front of visitors with their pesky presence, I had one last hugeeee swipe at them. N yessssss, I got them all. Mission accomplished.

As I look back now at those 15 minutes of irrefutable valor, my chest swells with pride. I've finally discovered that lion within me.

PS: This piece is dedicated to someone special as she starts what is probably the most crucial phase of her life today. So here's truckloads of best wishes and prayers for her success. (A peck in the cheek..SLAP....Ooops..sorry)

PPS: I was kinda considering writing a piece on the hottest chick I’ve met but I have postponed that for Monday :-)


Ekta said...

uv done me sooooooooo proud...for once u have listened to me and done the good deed and u wont regret it!

trust me...this blog will get u the "Valiant of the year" award and along with it..."Biggest Crapwriter of the year award"...recommended highly!!...yayayay!!!

p.s:- amazingly well written..almost inpsiring me to brave the fight myself...uuurrrgggg!!!!

Ekta said...

almost forgot to ask..who is this special babe..tell ra!

dont worry u can reply in comment..anywayz nobody besides me reads it..heheh!

Anonymous said...

Hey ramki,

i've heard abt this "hottest chick in my life" story ok... the best part is that u've never met her n she doesnt even know u! :-p

heard the equilateral triangle story?
i luv kiran, kiran luvs cats, my cat loves me.
therefore, kiran loves me!!!

wohi jo tumhe sleepless nights diya karti thi.

Jupe said...

One small correction: If i had mentioned "the hottest chick in my life" u are justified in your rebuttal.. I jes said "hottest chick i have met" which is just irrefutable. Wotsay ?

btw, i don't have a cat - N hey, it aint Kiran :-) Since i am in a good mood, lemme give u a clue. She came over to B'lore this weekend - Now dig it up !

Why dontcha sign off as J .. Your present style is way too..yawn...boring :-)

Ekta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

thank god ..It wasnt your waterloo...(no pun intended..or maybe it was !!!)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

hey thanks for your wishes!!!!!

that was really really sweet!

-the one the post was dedicated to :)

Jupe said...

Its her - Its not her - Its her - Its not her - Its her - Its not her - Its her (Or mebbe Its not her) I have run out of petals and flowers :-(

Ufff.. Jes when i had almost reconciled myself to the inevitable, there it happens. If only you would give me a clearer SIGN, Lord, like u do whenever u foil my plans for seeing HUM TUM ... :-(

Anonymous said...

Inkie Pinkie Ponkie... jupieee had a *&$#ee.

who is it?

Anonymous said...

jo hai, woh nahin hai, aur jo nahin hai, wohi hai.

Jupe said...

This is NO place and time for games, sir/ma'am. I NEED to know who this is. Don't put me thru this agony :-(

Or mebbe i shud jes prevent ANON postings. I am giving u one last chance. J, if tis you, i'll murder u whenever i get to Chennai.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I don't know why she's leaving,
Or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons
But I just don't wanna know
'Cos for 24 years
I've been livin' next door to Alice.

Jupe said...

This is it...This is simply the last nail in the coffin. Ok wise guy, lemme see how you make more of these ANON comments.

However one last request: if i can twist that song a li'l to ask you "Who the f*&^ are you ?"

Back to "mein aur meri tanhaii" :-(

OriginalKopy said...

Damn you. 8 minutes wasted. Had to create a profile. And then comment too. Is she really worth it? Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padtha hai - Kya doge? That foto :)

Sgp is so coool. Thamizh makkal eraalum. Thiruttu CD vera kidaikudhu :) Open invite. Drop in soon. Raj says his Hi - We both read the blog :)