Thursday, August 19, 2004

Mars vs. Venus

If Men are from Mars, then Women (esp my dear mom) are definitely from Venus. Been reading my first book in this series written by Allan and Barbara Pease about how men and women are different and reflecting a lot to see if these sweeping generalisations make any sense to me...and guess what - U bet, they do. Narrated below are some of the choicest exchanges that have occurred at home this last one month :-)

"So you have a lot of friends whose B'day is in August?"
To be read as: There are 8 Birthday cards lying in the room unused - why don't u send them to people (i have this fetish for good cards)
Hmmm!

Pranav gifted you that lovely coffee mug - You should take it to office and use it.
Mommmmmmm, I love that mug and i love Pranav too - of course in a totally assexual way !! But that mug can hold 1 litre - wot will ppl think if i take it to the pantry - pls try and understand!

My god - half your wardrobe is BLUE...Btw, do u realise that there are certain shirts i have never seen you wear - and its been a month now - if you didnt like them, why did u buy them?
(to myself) (^&*%^$^$)(&(

Dei, that lipstick and nail polish you brought from SP after convocation, wots it still doing here - shall i give it away to Aunty X's kids?
Noooooooooooooooooo
Then why dont u dispose of it?
(sheepishly) I might need it when I find someone :-)
Ayyo paavum andha ponnu !

Okie, all those magazines in the second rack, some of those BWs are a year old - if you aren't reading them now why dont u put them in a carton and throw it in the loft. Saves space and looks neater too.
Ufffffffffff

Why do i see books on that rack near your bed? Don't we have such a big book rack?
But Mom..i read them every night.. there is no need to keep them back along with the rest of the books..and pls, same with the walkman too..Why does every damn thing have to be so goddamn organised?

There is so much i need to teach you - your bed sheets have to match your pillow covers - see how nice they look now..
(*&*(^&*%^$^$&$ - like it matters..
Did you say something?
No

That fourth rack in the showcase - do you need that last bit of gift wrapping paper, what about that chart sheet - surely u dont plan to stick those Bollywood heroine posters on them and hang them on the wall... and hey, what are all these Planet M bags doing here.. Can i use them for hanging it out for the milkman to drop the packets ?
Tell me honestly, if i am of no use to you for a few days, will you throw me out :-p


I know all this sounds like a crib but believe me it isnt.. One doesn't know the value of things until one starts missing them. One just doesn't need to do an MBA to become a good manager - one just needs to be born as a woman. Mom, the maid servant hasn't come for the last 3 days and the hall looks like a pig sty, i couldn't find spoons to have dinner yesterday, the geyser seems to have broken down yet again and all my kerchiefs are missing. SAVE MY SOUL - Come back ASAP.... All is forgiven :-(((

2 comments:

Susie said...

Mommy is always the beshtesht!!!

Just dropping in some more on Mars / Venus - he he he used it b4 u cud :P

The Man's Prayer:

Our Beer
Which art in bottles,
Hallowed be thy sport.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us each day our daily beverage
And forgive us for spillage,
As we forgive those that spillest against us.
And lead us not into poofy wine tasting
And deliver us from Tequila,
For mine is the bitter,
The totty and footy,
For ever and ever,
Barmen!

The Woman's Prayer:

Our cash,
Which art in plastic,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Cartier Watch,
Thy Prada bag,
In Harrods as it is in Selfridges.
Give us each day our platinum Visa
And forgive us our overdraft
As we forgive those who stop our MasterCard.
And lead us not into Next,
And deliver us from Benetton,
For thine is the Cartier, the Dior and Armani
For Chanel No. 5 and Eternity
Amex!

J said...

Can i have that lipstik n nailpolish please? 8-)