Friday, August 20, 2004

The Numbers Series - Part 3

15 more posts to go so i need to tie up all loose ends.. so for starters let me finish this series..

4 pick up lines that DEFINITELY do NOT work :-p

* Bond. James Bond.

* Well, I'm here. What's your second wish?

* Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

* I bet you 100 bucks you're gonna turn me down.

psst: now don't ask me what works ;-)

3 Hobson's choices I've faced...

* When my friends ask me to order either Bhendi Masala or Palak Panneer (saw THE LOUNGE yday and Karan Johar says he hates Bhendi too.. am not so sure i wanna be in such illustrious company now)

* When ZED decides to go on a date but insists on me helping him decide between the PINK and the YELLOW shirt

* When i've had to choose between WWF in Ten Sports and Chess in DD Sports (ESPN-Star black out time)

2 Little Johnny jokes that rock

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted for his birthday.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday".

Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Johnny, of course, thought he did. Johnny's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Johnny to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

"Go to your room, Johnny, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,

Johnny knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2:
Dear God,
this is your friend Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,

Johnny knew that this wasn't true either so he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3:
Dear God,
I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a red bike for my birthday.

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either so he wrote another letter.

Letter 4:
Dear God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you.

Johnny knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now Johnny was very upset. He went downstairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Johnny's mother thought her plan had worked, as Johnny looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," she told him.

Johnny walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Johnny went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Johnny bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Johnny began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5:
God, I
've got your mama. If you want to see her again, send the bike. Signed
You Know Who.
" Little Johnny - I Like Your Thinking "
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then, Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

1 small message for my readers
You must all be really vela if you had the patience to come down till this one here but still here i go.. Love u folks !!

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