Monday, February 21, 2005

An Angry Letter

Hey Paulo,

I always knew your stuff was full of crap and yesterday just proved that. In case you insist on disputing me, here's proof.

Wot r Sundays for ? Chilling out, rite ? Cool...Atleast v agree on that..A coupla buddies of mine drop in from Chennai and I think I'll spend a coupla cool hours meeting up over lunch, mebbe even catch up on a sooper movie with 'em..One of 'em, a sooper adamant nigguh suggests we chk out The Aviator and though its a looong 3 hrs and I've silly seen it, I play along..We 2 drive down all the way 2 Symphony at 2 only 2 see that the matinee is a goddamn complimentary show and not open 2 publik.. Why can't these morons jes put up an ad in the papers conveyin' the same...Fine..By now am friggin hungry and would dearly eat anything - I mean anything - but then buddy insists on first getting these goddamn tickets..I know PVRs gonna be hopeless too but still v drive all the way bak.. Jesus Christ, even Jurm is sold out..Thankfully Nuvvusthanante in Europa has a FEW tickets left.. or so the display says..Will I be third time lucky ? Shitttt.. LUCKY...I didn't say that...Neway I throw the nigguh in the Q and call up the third buddy....The chick's delighted for she's bin buggin' me to see this wid her looong time now...By the time am done with gettin her approval on phone, the nigguh's off the line..Dammmittt.. These bloody Gults in Blore who were ahead of him have bought wotever FEW ticks were left...Kela go gaya...I hate goin' out and not seeing a movie..Its like a personal insult..We wait till the damn woman will join us so that we can grab a quik bite and then head towards Pallavi where Nuvvu is bein' screened...When was the last time women ever came on time ? $%^# ..When the lassie finally turns up, we are almost late for the show so lunj is skipped. We kick the freakin Zen into fourth gear straight and burn off precious rubber in the tyre...Instinct tells me this is all goin' horribly rong..I get the nigguh to call up JUST-DIAL services and get Pallavi's number..The bugger on the other end of the line won't leave my pal without asking every stoopid detail right from email to fone to wot-not..I call Pallavi and some dumbass rattles off shitloads of Kannada..I give up...We are almost there neways...Jeeez...The theatre's caught fire..Some A/C problem..Show cancelled...If this aint the right occasion to swear, what is ? I've had enough with movies...I wanna eatttttttttt...Hell's bells.. Whats rong with Chennai babes ? Never seen McDonalds ?? All the way back to Forum.. %$^#...McDee's is crowded.. I finally assert myself..I WILL NOT STAND IN ONE MORE Q...We go to Grameen to have some food...Q there too..Waillllllll........Its just not my day, is it ? We order truckloads of food..The gal's gone nuts.. She wants ordinary water while nigguh and I want cold water..And ppl who've eaten with me know I drink a lot of water during food..Everytime this bloody waiter refills our brass tumblers, he gets it rong.. Cold for her and ordinary for me..Gal wants mango panna (thanks SVR) without ice, she gets it with ice... I wish I could shoot him then and there...Service is pathetic, thankfully the food is awesome.. As usual.. I really love this place for the food...Today there were some nice birds too..The one with cute curly hair: Haven't I seen her somewhere.. Where Where Where....Mood back to normal.. Bill arrives, babes pays :-D Cheapo she is.. It just came to Rs 290...She owes us much more for that great job but I guess I'll take this.. Next time maybe Tandoor...Time to tip she says... Whattttttttt... Why tip ? For this kinda service.. She must be freakin nuts...Remember Reservoir Dogs ? No ?? Damn you... Here is the relevant scene ....

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you never ever tip, huh?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, this girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. But she wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

But just as this scene ends in the movie, I'm forced to tip...Just coz babes footed the bill, we get to pay up the tip...Nigguh and me...Damn... 12% ...No way... Rs 20 maybe...Not a penny more...I am feeling good now.. Time for goodbyes.. The buddies have to wind up their recruitment process, you see..I am feeling so sleepy...I leave for home..Maybe I should see Lemony Snickets today...Kaka says CD has gone out...Its one of those days when absolutely nothing will go right..Holy shit.. and Chelsea are playing today at St. James Park :-(

ps: Chelsea lost.

Okie, now you tell me if this one makes sense

'When you want something all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it'



pps: Pardon the language.. Influence of the movie I finally ended up seeing y'day.. Ya... Reservoir Dogs.. Third time...QT rockssssssssssssss !

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

here's another argument.. I wanna marry aishwarya Rai.. I guess the universe would infact conspire with me to set up a cam in my bedroom, huh???

Man with no Name