Friday, May 27, 2005

Women...Baaaah.... - Part 2

I give up...I honestly give up...Not that I gave myself much of a chance to succeed one day but then I am not the kind of person who will accept what everyone says...Maybe I should have listened to the general opinion atleast this one time..So here is the line that all my friends of the fairer sex are gonna love reading..I absolutely cannot understand you womenfolk..Everytime I try to and think that I am finally there, I fall on my face...Its almost like that stupid game - snakes and ladders.. I have attempted taking one step at a time, tried taking the quick path through the ladder but the bloody snake just wont let me reach the finish line.. I think I better stick to Chinese Checkers...

Of course, if I am THIS agitated there had to be that proverbial 'last straw.....back' incident EXCEPT that in my case I've had quite a few of that kinds, all in this last couple of weeks. And if there is one common thread across all these incidents then its this 'lets-do-a-movie' thingy....

Act 1:

A conversation on MSN

Me: My damn Pondicherry trip got postponed
She: Y
Me: Shifting houses this Sunday
She: Poor larka
Me: Yeah..is your boi coming to town ?
She: No :-( Tied up with work. I hate life.
Me: Poor ladki
She: ;-) Was just wondering....
Me: Arre, I wanted to ask you sthg too.....
She: tell tell
Me: You go first, lady.
She: No No You tell first.
Me: Why does it always have to be your way ?
She: Ufffffffffff Bataoge ki nahin ?
Me: Okie, can we watch a movie this weekend ?
She: Wooohooooo
Me: :O
She: I was about to ask the same thing ;)
Me: Hmmmmmmmmmm
She: So which one larka ?
Me: Narasimhudu ;-)
She: Are u mad ?
Me: ;-) Why ?
She: We know no Telegu
Me: Kya Cool Hai Hum ?
She: No
Me: Star Wars ?
She: Tujhe kuch samaj mein aayega ?
Me: Nopes but still....
She: Next
Me: Bose...plsssssssssss
She: Nah
Me: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
She: Kya karoon ? All your choices are lousy.
Me: *trying one last time* Bunty ?
She: You know I want to see that with ### :-(
Me: Okkkkkkkkk...DDLJ ?
She: Ha Ha Ha
Me: Why you laffin' ? Nazar ?
She: Noooooooooo
Me: Now i am MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
She: But you only asked me out ?
Me: shucks...drama queen...
She: May I suggest something ?
Me: What on earth are you waiting for ?
She: :-) How about going to Cinema Paradiso and renting a DVD there ?
Me: But I am not a member baba...
She: You could go check..
Me: Why me ?
She: Coz you asked me out
Me: Ayyoooooooooooooooooooo
She: Don't whine. Its closer to your house.
Me: So will ya 'dress up' for the occasion :D
She: This aint no blooody date larka ;-)
Me: Then why am I doing all the work
She: coz asked me out.......simple.........
Me: But it could have so easily been the other way around considering u confessed
She: I know...but it wasn't... which means.. u asked me out....

....and to think I thought I've 'known' this woman for 5 years.


Act 2:

The two principal players are casually strolling at The Forum

Me: Why is it so crowded here ? Surely not all these people are here to shop
She(2): Sweetie, most of the men are giving exercise to their sore eyes
Me: ..and the women ?
She(2): Oh, we are here to meet our friends and let off steam after a really rough week..
Me: Oh yeahhh
She(2): Chuck that.. Tujhe pata hai ? The first time my boi brought his folks to PVR
Me: Hmmmm
She(2): They had gone out during the interval and when they returned to their seats
Me: Hmmm
She(2): My boi's father found popcorn in the seat and started eating it...And then he realised that it belonged to the lady sitting next to him..
Me: Hmmmm
She(2): Poor man was so embarassed...It seems he thought the popcorn came as compliments along with the ticket...
Me: Hmmmm
She(2): He'd never been to a multiplex before, u see... New to the city types...
Me: Hmmm
She(2): Hullo, I dont like your hmms.. Why don't you speak something ?
Me: You are always telling your stories and when have i ever got a word in edgeways ?
She(2): But then you never have stories to say and we need to have a conversation...
Me: Do we ?
She(2): Stop ur leching...Stopppit pls... its embarassing..
Me: I wasn't...Gimme a break...
She(2): Really ?
Me: You want me to repeat everything u said ?
She(2): No.. Hey, that looks like my friend Rashmi...Just hold on a sec, will ya
Me: Ok
She(2): Hey Rashmi ? What are YOU doing here ?
Rashmi: :-) Hi...was bored at home... so thought I'd do some shopping

*I do not see any shopping bags in her hand*

She(2): Oh, that way huh
Rashmi: Yeah.. and what are you doing ?
She(2): Oh.. we are here for a movie..
Rashmi: Which one ?
She(2): Kaal
Rashmi: Oooh..John Abraham...and aren't you going to introduce me to your friend ?
She(2): Oh, i forgot. Rashmi, this is *****, and *****, this is Rashmi.. We studied together at %%%
Me: Hi Rashmi
She(2): So...bought anything ?
Rashmi: Naaaa...Too expensive...Besides its so crowded here
Me: Precisely my point
She(2): Yeah
Me: Why don't you join us for the movie ?
Rashmi: No No..But thanks

*Rashmi's mobile rings*

She(2): We ought to be running.. See ya later..
Rashmi: Bye
Me: Bye Rashmi
She(2): Whats rong with you ?
Me: Why ?
She(2): Don't act.
Me: Hullo ?
She(2): You were hitting on her ?
Me: Me ?
She(2): Yeah... maybe you can join us...
Me: Now don't you dare ape me..i was jes being courteous to your friend..
She(2): She is no friend , just an ex-colleague
Me: But you were so warm and friendly
She(2): and you were checking 'her' out...
Me: Plsssssssssssss
She(2): Chuck
Me: Whats rong with you ? One line and I am overly friendly, two lines and I am flirting and three, I am hitting on her ?
She(2): Hmmm
Me: You women are so paranoid...If any guy is half decent to make polite conversation, then you mistake that for 'interest' and even if he is indeed interested, how does he put it acrosss.. You mistake everything for 'hitting'...
She(2): Are you interested in her ?
Me: Seee you are diverting us again...
She(2): Wotevah

......and this is a person I thought I 'knew' for 2 years.

Act 3:

A conversation on YM

Me:.....I missed the Mrinal Sen film festival coz last weekend I was busy
She(3): I know ;-)
Me: What do you know ?
She(3): Forget it nuh
Me: OK...and I so dearly wanted to make it three great weekends in a row...
She(3): :-)
Me: I am moving to BTM..Did I tell you ? Closer to your area :-)
She(3): Super. How much is the rent ?
Me: And I am shifing houses on Sunday
She(3): Need any help ?
Me: No. Thanks. Btw, U finished that C&H ?
She(3): Yes. It was awesome.
Me: Seee, I told you.. why don't you lend me that book. I would not mind reading it again.
She(3): When and how ?
Me: why don't we meet on Sunday evening..How about a movie ?
She(3): :-) Are you asking me out on a date ?
Me: Jesus fuckinggggggggggggggggg Christ....
She(3): ???
Me: Ufffff
She(3): ????????
Me: Whats it with you women ?
She(3): as in ?
Me: I just said lets see a movie and its been branded 'a date'
She(3): But you said lets watch a movie ;-)
Me: and when I go for a movie with my grandma, I ask her " How about a movie ?"
She(3): Really ? So I'm your grandma ?
Me: Thats not the point and you know it.
She(3): Whats rong in asking someone out on a date ?
Me: Nothing. Ans nothing. Except that I dont understand what a date is...
She(3): ;-)
Me:...and to be perfectly honest, my date is more with the movie and its jes that it feels better to see it with someone than alone...
She(3): Go on
Me: And its not like you are the date and the movie is just an excuse to be with you...
She(3): ...by the looks of it, that day will never come ;-)
Me: You womennnnnnnnnn... I give up...
She(3): so no movie ?
Me: Not if its 'a date'
She(3): Kanjoos, I will buy the ticket and the popcorn...
Me: *(&^%%*&(*)(#+%%*$)+

....and I 'knew' this woman for 3 weeks.

Women and movies, baaaah !!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

(grinning)
Btw, do you ever watch movies with guys ? (like poor ol' me)

~ Sud

Johnny said...

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she always gone too long anytime she goes away

Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away

L&M said...

She

May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

She

May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She

Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry

She

May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She

May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years

Me

I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She

Jupe said...

Ennapa ? Ellarum enna round katti adikreengala ?

{a la Vadivelu in Winner} "Venaaam... Utru... Aprom aludhuduvaen :-("

Venks said...

mama dei...otha i havent seen more blatant advertising than this...

Summary of what your Blog says is :

1)I have multiple girlfriends
2)Sometimes they even ask me out
3) I only watch movies with women
4)I have known women for long periods of time......

man...I know ur imagination is fertile..but enuf's enuf dude..Stop lying!!
'
Also stop the loser part were all the women u know have boy friends...write stuff like Rashmi and I hit it off right away and we started making out in PVR within two hours...now thts the kind of stuff ur readers like to read!!!

Anu said...

"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. " -

Some anonymous wiseman near Tanjore Periya Kovil Kall vettu

Take your pick between the 2 ..

Nachiketas said...

Not a bad position to be in. In a way, it is better than we do not understand women, for if we do we got to change :-)

Man with no Name said...

hahha... worth the travel all the way from my house on a sunday afternoon..

and I totally go by mr. V's comments.. hahhahah.. show off!!!!

L&M said...

Venks....

In case this makes your day any brighter, I have turned down Jupe thrice on 'movie dates' :) But what-to-do, He is so shameless that he wont let go too - so I've had to make up for it too ;) Jupes, I'l get you Mars if you can remember all 3.

OK said...

rofl !!!!!!!!!!

Dis was exactly de kinda opp: ive bin lookin for. Venks, (the bro??) here r sum more truths


Did u kno dat

- jupe's first crush was de first gal 2 ever call him anna
- jupe's first rekwest for a 'proper date' was turned down flat
- jupe's first succesful (??) date was an unmitigated disaster n it took the girl 3 months 2 aktually tok 2 him again............

Dere is so much more 2 tell but i want 2 live so stoppin here !!!!

Doiii, i am bak :)

Jupe said...

First things first...

As a vocal proponent of the 'right to speak' and considering that I believe in 'self censorship', I am not going to exercise the option of deleting some of the above comments that seem to be there for the sole purpose of defaming me.. However, I do wish to strongly put my objection on record.

R'worry,
Helen Rowland lived in Tanjore ? And isn't Helen a she ? ;-) *I feel so nitpicky today*

Nachiketas,
When all your women friends are either 'single and not looking', 'taken' or 'married', its a good position to be in ? Then can we swap places pls ? Now don't you get me started ;-)

MWNN,
Hows the new workplace ? And you know ferpectly well I am not toking of induction, work, pay blah blah blah... Think birds :-p

MN,
I remember all 3 (scarred for life...sigh..) but I hate Mars so will give this a skip..Btw, I thought we had a deal that such dirty linen would be washed only over YM :-(

OK,
Podeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! You have the time for surfing the net ? My SIL not eating up all ur 26 hrs ?

Venks,
Your comment was just like one of those GDs I had at UG... You are a silent observer for all of the 15 mts and then when u get a chance to sum up, you do it erroneously...Okie, you were partly right on pt 4 but the rest was all bosh... Remember Vanity Fair ? Btw, who is this Rashmi ? (See, I have already forgotten her)

Maama, naan 'nallavaru vallavaru padayapparu'nnu nee dhaane certificate kudutha.. adhukulla marandhuttiye...Nee asingamma pesa pesa unakku manni kidaikave maatta :-(

Venks said...

L&M and OK...hello ladies should I say.

Yepp me the Bro...

Jupieee...dat GD summary you spoke about was because the moderator fella generally fell asleep when "Ideal macroeconomic indicators to measure Indian economic progress" was being discussed, not when the more contemperory issue of your popularity with women was being discussed.

Machchi...u know why my testimony is valued...cos its the truth itself...but with such blogs..i aint too sure...

neways L6M and OK...I shamelessly invite you to visit muh blog...too!!