Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Why on earth do we need FACEBOOK?

This is a rant and will be a long one at that too. If you're an unabashed fan of social networks (and by that I mostly mean you "FACEBOOK" in CAPS, BOLD, TIMES NEW ROMAN, 42 font), then you’re either going to hate me because you just don’t agree with me (or) you’re gonna hate my guts for exactly saying things that you know to be true but wouldn’t dare acknowledge in public. Either way you’re gonna hate me so here we go.
Who am I connected to in Facebook?
Mostly friends & acquaintances from school and college, a few well-wishers & contacts from childhood, some associates & colleagues from work and of course, distant and close relatives.
How did I get connected with them?
Very few people by choice, a few by chance, many others by a harmless mistake of assuming they were the same people that I “knew” from the past, some by emotional blackmail and the remaining by social compulsion.
What do these people typically post?
Across all categories of people – those I have known from the 80s to the people I’ve had the “privilege” of knowing only from last week - the posting behaviors are similar.
40% of the time, these folks post insanely boring, mundane slices of their life - stuff that used to be just random thoughts inside people's minds pre Feb-2004
The ones that "amused" me most
·         Mmm... The molagu rasam I made today smells good. Here is the recipe (36 Likes, 17 comments)
·         Bored at home. Tried my hand at Pulli Kolam & Neli Kolam. See picture below (145 Likes, 104 NRI comments, 3 Resident Indian comments)
·         Found this nice library near home with lots of books on how to solve Level 5 Sudoku puzzles (16 likes and 3 comments)

30% of the time, content revolves around personal stuff that would never have found a way into public domain before Mark Zuckerberg got drunk one night
Here are some best of the worst
·         Rahul enters 3rd round of Squash tournament in school (18 Likes and 35 Congrats comments)
Incidentally, Rahul is 8 yrs old and his 1st rd was a bye and his 2nd rd opponent gave a walk-over due to suspected dysentery. NO KIDDING.
·         Pictures from our daughter's Birthday party - Meira turns 6 (0 Likes and 0 comments)
...where participation was ensured by publicising in advance that return gifts for kids would be an Ipod, all lovingly captured by the photo-crazy but not so popular parents.
·         Honeymoon snaps from Peru posted 16th Feb (255 Likes and 201 drooling comments)
...oh yes, the marriage was on 14th February and ALMOST all snaps have only the newly wed bride in them and she is the one posting on Facebook.
·         Skiing in the Alps with Manas and Robert  (1 like and 1 comment)
Sent to ALL the unfortunate 140 in the 'Friends' list including the 138 who don’t know Manas and/or Robert
·         With Sunny Leone at Mumbai airport (11 Likes and 34 comments)
I suspect most of the comments were requests for phone number
20% of the time, I am assaulted with insightful opinions, thought-provoking views and earth-shattering ideas
The winners are
·         Chris Gayle rocks !! (146 likes, 44 comments)
·         I love my iPhone 5 (14 likes, 6 comments)
·         Sharapova & Dimitrov…Tasty (33 likes, 12 comments including a couple of broken heart emoticons)
·         Just saw Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani trailor - Ranbir is soooooooo cute....(733 likes, 10 comments)
The Likes to Comments ratio says it all
·         Happy Republic Day (52 likes, 21 comments)
It's not like its Mother's Day or Father's Day, it’s Republic Day for God’s sake !!!!!!!!!!!
It’s the remaining 10% of content that I really wish I could filter and read. ALAS.
…and if you don’t agree with any of my above observations, here is my last anecdote which hopefully will open a few eyes on what to post / what not to post and more importantly, who to share with.
I was catching up with an old friend of mine from college days and after a few beers were down, my pal opened up and bared his heart out about all his old conquests and the ones that had spurned him.  Logging quickly to FB through his “high-end mobile”, he showed me a picture of one of our old classmates with her two kids and remarked that the little ones could have been his, instead there he was miles away from her and pressing LIKE to all her photographs.
I rest my case. End of rant.


No Display Name said...

"...before Mark Zuckerberg got drunk one night.."

you forgot to add.. "and stole someone else's idea"

but FB.. what a waste of .. I wouldn't say time.. I go to FB to waste time in the first place anyway... but what a whore of a place to spend time in..

Anonymous said...

Hahahah! Jupiee, this is a gem :D
Absolutely loved the post. Didn't know u were back to posting once in a while. let me go read and give my vishesh tippani on some of them.