Why me ???

Cast of Characters:

Salman Khan is Prem, the poor man's Daler Mehndi. He sings at friends' wedding ceremonies, falls in love at the drop of a shirt (yes, not a hat) and is perenially pondering over his failures be it love or his fledgling pop star career.

Raveena Tandon is Nisha, the girl-next-door. She's in love with love - be it love for her family (read: terminally ill brother), love for money or love for her I-am-the-next-Michael Jackson beau. Her biggest dilemna in life is to decide which love she loves most.

In a casting coup of sorts, Kashmira Shah is Prem's didi/mom/agony aunt. And My Dear Brother-in-law is played by that godwaful pain-you-know-where Mohnish Behl.

Pooja Batra is Mona, a wannabe starlet who is also Prem's neighbor. Jackie Shroff is Tiger, Prem's bosom buddy and drinking partner, totally smitten by Mona.

Inder Kumar is Money-Bags Rahul, the dashing NRI with an uncanny knack of popping up wherever there is an eligible gal.

Rani Mukherjee is Priya, the perpetually confused other woman.

Plot:

Prem loves Nisha. Nisha loves Prem. Nisha needs money. Twist number one. Nisha marries Rahul. Prem is heartbroken. Ten more reels. Prem starts drinking. Priya enters scene. Priya comforts Prem. They get close. Prem loves Priya. Priya gets engaged. Twist number two. Fiance is Rahul. Ufff not again. Time for drinks. Five more reels. Some rona dhona. Some stupid songs. Prem gets Priya.

Trivia:

It seems after filming was done, there was a huge row in the sets as to what the film's title should be. Each actor/actress felt the entire movie revolved around their central character and so suggestions flew in from everywhere.. Sample these

Main Pyaar Mein Jeetna Chahta Hoon...
Meri Shaadi NRI Se Ho Jaaye...
Jahaan Pyaar Wahaan Main..
Kahiin Pop Star Na Banooon Tho ?
All the world's a Stage !!

The producer not wanting to antagonise anyone including his own numerology consultant finally zeroed in on

Kahiin Pyaar Na Ho Jaaye..

Lightning never strikes the same place twice. Sallu got bloody lucky with that stupid Har Dil Jo Pyaar Karega in 2000 but he pushed his luck a little too much by releasing KPNHJ the same year. Needless to say the movie flopped.

But why all this now, you may ask. Saturday afternoon, I was on yet another of my "Mein aur meri Tanhaai" moods when one of my dear friends called and insisted that I watch Sony. He said there were "lessons I could learn". Now after enduring 17 reels of torture, I cannot comprehend what in the name of Jesus H Christ was I supposed to take-away.

(*)&^@#%^$