Alexander

For those of you who are unfamiliar with my distinctly unique style of reviewing movies that have been adapted from epics / classics, check my last one on TROY before you decide whether you wanna read further. (OK OK that was a shameless attempt at publicity for one of my old works but then hey, its my blog) Neway now that you have come this far, you might as well hear my verdict on ALEXANDER.

Imagine having a one-eyed drunk for a father, an incestuous sultry siren for a mother and a lot of fat, creepy snakes for your friends... What a rotten childhood it must have been to be constantly in the company of the aforementioned obnoxious characters...No wonder Alexander grows up wanting to run away from Greece and conquer the whole world - from Persia to India to Egypt..No wonder Alexander is happy when he is at war and gay in the company of his bosom buddy Hephaestion :-p

I am no great expert on Greek history but Alexander, according to Oliver Stone, was a dithering and weak leader - leaving aside the fact that this is highly disputable, what also works against the movie is the terrible casting - Colin Farrell with his cockney (or is it Irish) accent and total lack of screen presence is as wrong as a choice could get for the lead role.. Anjelina Jolie as Olympias. (Alexander's ma) would have done wonders for the movie if only she had shed that phony Russian accent (and her clothes) whilst Val Kilmer is ineffective as Philip (Alexanders pa). The camera is brooding and boring, the voice over by Anthony Hopkins playing Ptolemy is tiresome, the battle sequences aren't half as grand as Troy and in short, the movie is a painful 3 hr exercise.

Striktly avoidable !!