Monday, June 06, 2005

B-Skool Survey time

Heraclitus once said "There is nothing permanent except change"

BS...as in... Bull shit ! 10 months back, I wrote this. Now don't you follow that link coz I will be repeating some of those points here again - you can do that later in the post after you've read what I have to say in the next few paragraphs. At that time, the core issues facing Indian society as revealed by some of the most talked about surveys conducted by newspapers and magazines were

a. Promiscuity in Bangalore
b. Best workplace in India
c. Sex habits of Chinese women
d. Hottest British male

Cut to the present and in the last two weeks if one were to believe TOI and other magazines the core issues are

a. Date rape and BPOs
b. Best technical institues of India
c. Dress code for women in colleges - havta make special mention here of a Tee I saw recently - If u DARE to BARE, why do you CARE that I STARE ? Aahsum :-)
d. The world's top 10 beautiful women (No Mallika ???? *too shocked to speak*)

So what do you say ? Have things changed much ? Or rather, have things changed at all ? Nay. So why am I here with yet another commentary on the latest Top 10 B-school survey, you may ask ? To which my reply would be "My poor dahlings, simply because every good article becomes a classic only when it is followed by a poorly written sequel which gives people that much needed perspective when judging the initial effort. OK ? Now go and read my old story.

Done ? Great. Read on.

The biggest difference that has been observed in the B-school landscape from the time I did a survey the last time around has been the emergence of brands that seem to have taken 'the retail mall' approach to business education. Just look at ICFAI. They are there everywhere - in every city that sells more than 10000 CAT forms - bringing MBA education to the doorstep and people actually think they are awesome. And in most cases, perception IS reality so maybe they are awesome. I digress. My own survey this year is fool-proof simply because it works on two rules that have withstood the test of time.

Rule 1: Debunk competition and cast aspersions without attracting legal notice

One of the hazards of commissioning a detailed study involving 2 months of data collection using 4 reputed MR agents armed with a 20 lac budget is that of needlessly complicating a simple 2 day affair and that is precisely what the latest BT survey is guilty of. For that matter, my own survey last year used scientific segmentation as a guiding tenet in deciding sample size and was therefore guilty of flouting accepted and established rules of surveying. My humble apologies. This year BT takes it three steps too further by actually segmenting the respondents into classes like recruiters, wannabe MBAs, MBA students, functional heads and young executives. The first few questions that spring to my mind are

1. Who are these young executives ? Define 'young'. Why do their opinions matter so much that they are a separate class by themselves ?
2. Why are functional heads so important ? If you are gonna interview 5 respondents of this category in each company, the odds are that one of them is an HR head (a function head) and then he/she is gonna plump for XLRI or TISS only. So doesnt such a system give HR specialising B-schools an unfair advantage ? And to add to this, the 'recruiters perspective' is again from the 'head of HR'.
3. The sample size might have been great but looking at the final results, here are my views on the 'quality of the sample'

A scene in a local pub

Guy1: My dad is becoming a real pain in the arse
Guy2: Why ?
Guy1: He wants me to get married
Guy2: Whats wrong with that ?
Guy1: Are you crazy ? I am just 23 and I want to drink and while away more years of my youth
Guy2: So ?
Guy1: I am going to do my MBA. It will give me 2 more years of freedom.
Guy2: So are you preparing hard for CAT ?
Guy1: Are you mad ? I dont want to go to IIMs, someone will steal my girlfriend in my absence. I have to stay in Pune. Give me a name of a mast college here, man !
Guy2; Symbiosis
Guy1: Good, I like that name. That is my first choice.

Wannabe MBAs perspective.

A scene inside a posh Mumbai office

Manager: ....I think B schools in India have evolved. Even the Tier 2 ones are getting better by the day.
Interviewer: So which are the campuses XXX plans to visit this year ?
Manager: The usual...A/B/C and KJ Somaiya
Interviewer: A/B/C ? Wow...How many did you get from these top B schools last year ?
Manager: Actually by the time we finished formulating our policy, placements were almost done Interviewer: So you are telling me there weren't any students left ?
Manager: Not exactly but none from the Dean's top 20
Interviewer: and how about KJ ?
Manager: Oh, that is an awesome college
Interviewer: Really ? Why ?
Manager: Coz we managed to get 5 of the 6 toppers to join us
Interviewer: And were they any good ?
Manager: Of course. The best and the brightest that India has to offer.
Interviewer: So you are an MBA urself right ? Where did you pass out from ?
Manager: Lets have this off the record. I passed out from KJ but trust me, thats got nothing to do with our policy. The students are really good. Besides I don't have to fly to another city to take interviews and I get to spend time with my family. Would you like to have some coffee ?

Recruiters perspective

To read more of Rule 1, check online version.

Rule 2: Expound on the virtues of your rigorous methodology (or the lack of it)

If there is one good thing that an MBA education teaches you (yes I said one and meant one {and yes, its all they teach in 2 yrs for 4 lacs}) then it is to KISS - Keep things short n simple. So bearing that principle firmly in mind, my methodology was to meet arbit people (the fewer the better but still balancing the constraint of having to produce fake bills and claim obscene reimbursements from my sponsor) and catch them off guard with questions that can never be answered with well coached and rehearsed lines taught at Career Forum or IMS. And if you thought, the methodology was simple, then the findings are even better - none of them will be presented in charts and graphs and brand scores and complex parameters which are just tools and opprtunties for fudging. My results will be in a simple ranking based on nos like 1,2 3 to 10. Hows that for simplicity. And last but not the least, I am NOT the wine and dine kind of guy and so my survey and the resultant findings are backed by dollops of honesty that come associated with my fair name.

The results are

1. IIM-A
The name says it all - A stands for adult or men (not being sexist here) or the big league. Without any question, the boss of all B schools.

2. IIM-C
Again the name says it all - See (C), we are up there with the best.

3. IIM-B
Yet again the name says it all. I want to BE (B) there but am not there yet.

4. IIML / XLRI
L rocks coz it offers something different. People who believe A is hot and comunally sensitive, B is too congested and polluted and C is full of Bongs like to study here. And trust me, they seem to be wise folks coz the intellectual capital at L has improved by leaps and bounds in the last couple of years.

The biggest mover in this year's list XL, despite the numerous doomsday predictions, continues to prove its critics wrong. In the last year they have made tremendous strides in improving the quality of their intake (Not to be read as: My girlfriend got in when none of the other B schools accepted her) and made corrections in their course curriculum which now gives them a more professional image than one of a college run by saintly people dressed in robes. Verdict: They live to survive another year.

6. FMS / SP Jain / NITIE / IIFT
The first 3 are all same wine in same old bottle.

Niche is in but not niches like Amity. With India becoming a global superpower, the need of the hour is to have more managers with a global perspective who can give real 'global gyaan' hence the rise in IIFTs stature.

10. IIMI / IIMK

Indore is supposedly one of the fastest growing cities attracting the nouveau rich and the accompanying lifestyle. A B-school in such a place sounds just right.

Kozhikode or Kunnamangalam has the unique distinction of being the only place to feature in three of my Top 10 surveys - Top 10 B-schools, Top 10 holiday spots and Top 10 publicity mongers ;-) So you know what you're getting into.

So there it is, my common sensical survey cum poor man's (yeah, this abridged version is free and the detailed one is only 16$ per online copy) guide to Indian B-schools.

Disclaimer: The views expressed are MY own and in case someone took serious offence, I am prepared to apologise as long as you can produce a receipt indicating that you bought the online version.

8 comments:

Man with no Name said...

IIM A eh? Ok, I think its got enough to get on my blog ;)

meera said...

first time on thy blog...and man...that must have taken quite a bit of time to write!!! or does it seem so long to me, as i read the prev years' b-school survey of jupe too??are u sure u arent an MBA holder? esp from IIM-A??

Anonymous said...

So de kat is outta de bag - your gf is in XL after all.......

Now Ill get ma jassoos to work ;)

Onion said...

Brother- take that thing about K back or Ill find out everythg & spill the beans on the Jamshedpur matter. I REALLY MEAN BUSINESS !!

Anonymous said...

XL of all the colleges ?????? You still have not disowned her ???????? Man you've changed !!!

Jupe said...

Omigawd, why do I get jes the kind of comments I hate answering...Not meaning neone here in particular but still....Neways here I go...

MWNN,
Yes da...As I keep saying the only two colleges worth doing an MBA from India are IIMA and IIMC

Meera,
IIMA ? Me ?
Do I sound that intelligent ? Thats a compliment.. naah... u cudnt have been that wrong..
wait...
Do I sound that snobbish ? Now thats a bigger compliment...naah..how i wish it were true though..

....n yes, I have loads and loads of time so I write epics...any more Qs ?

Anon1,
If you had the balls, you'd mentioned your name.. But then methinks u dont have....chuck...all the spies of the world aren't gonna help ya one bit...

Onion,
T-R-Y M-E :P :P

Anon2
Et tu Brutus ? :-(


Okie...one more dumbass comment and I'm giving it to whoever it is - him/her

Johnny said...

baadu, hows Bunty & Babli? Supera? how come no movie reviews for weekend?

Jupe said...

OK Mr. Johnson, you wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth so hear it.... I havent seen the friggin movie yet... YET....coz i was movin houses and every arsehole has seen it.. and none of them want to see it again with me.. and I do want to watch it on big screen.. Now tell your pal who goaded u to ask me this Q to scram... I'll kill ya both when I am in Chennai next time aorund even if its gonna cost me a 7 yr jail term....