The unfortunate letters series - 2

Hey old hag,

You did it once in the past when u shifted jobs - i didn't take offence coz i kinda understood. But u r doing it again now - u think i don't know, dont u ? Okie, i know all about January 2005. So will u be honest and tell me or do i need to be kept waiting. Don't u know happiness is the only thing that doubles when shared. We r pals, right ?

Cheerio,
J

**********************************************************************************
Hello Mr.Curious,

Thanks for that compliment that i seem to be managing my time well. Many of the posts are typed on the spur of the moment (I try my best though to "collect my thoughts", "get organised" and "run a spell check" always), quite a few have been ideas at the back of my head for a long time  but nowadays with my lappie back in action (yippeeee), i do type some of these posts at odd hours. For example, the H20 post was done at around 3 am when i couldn't get to sleep :-) Did that answer your question ? Good. Next fanmail pls.

Cheers,
Me
 
**********************************************************************************
Dear u-no-hu,

I..errr..wanted to know if...(Tongue-tied) Chuck de (Shud i - shud i not) Not now atleast. (how much longer Jupie)
 
Have a super day :-)
R

**********************************************************************************
Respected Premji-san,

"Sorgame endraalum adhu namma Wipro pola varuma" Sorry, got carried away. I just meant to say "I love your company and adore you" :-) You were so nice during the MSI, now be a good ol' man and give me a whopping PPR and i will serve you loyally. In case you are a little confused about the %, maybe i can send you my timesheets for the last 2 weeks to help you make up your mind. Or easier still, repeat after me - Jupie deserves a 50% hike :-))))

Kind regards,
Emp no: 93135

**********************************************************************************
Dei PB,

I know you don't read this blog but i will get someone to fwd u this post coz i am way too nice to ask u all this F2F :-)  Here's my wish list

1. Wireless headfones
2. Twelve O' Clock High VCD
3. Loads of chocos

Doesn't it look familiar? Yeah. Its precisely what i asked you last time around when u claimed u had no time to shop ;-) Take care and go to Vegas this time without fail.
 
R
 
**********************************************************************************
My dear dear blog,

I've been hearing from people that u were cribbing about how i rarely give you an off. How would you like a weeks break? Did i hear u say "Good riddance" :-)
 
See ya.
Ciao
Me
 
**********************************************************************************

The unfortunate letters series - 1

I've realised that sometimes when we don't really want to talk directly to people but still want to get some messages across, there are ways to do this tactfully. For example, we could drop some (not-so) subtle hints in letters that weren't supposed to have been read by the intended recipients but somehow got to them. I am NOT saying the following are something like that but... :-)

Dear girlfriend,

First things first. U shud have never married Boyfriend till the deadline was over :-( I know thats not how it is in My Best Friend's Wedding but still... :-(

Secondly a) Having done it, u shud quit trying to keep in touch with "whats happening" here. Its so annoying. OK? :-(
Secondly b) I have still not seen HUM TUM so stop asking me again n again n again. Grrrrr.

Thirdly, I am sure you have read those stupid Erica Jong books (i remember seeing FEAR OF FLYING in ur Chennai pigsty) - that woman spoke some sense too - here's her take on ADVICE "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." So from now on, please advice accordingly :-)

Fourthly, I'm still waiting for those tickets to Singapore or have i been compromised in your latest austerity drive ?

Fifthly, summing up, u r such a pain - why don't they send you on a mission to Mars or Venus, whichever is further, for 6 years with the option of an extension :-))

Love
The-Jilted-One

************************************************************************

Dear Boyfriend,

Firstly a) Please get urself a job in a timezone where i do not have to endure 2 hrs of YM chat with ur better half on a day to day basis.
Firstly b) If you can't shift, i am game - get me a job faaaaar faar away, even Reykjavik will do.

Secondly, i don't like that name one bit. Its unisexual. Please, please dont let her take ALL the decisions.

Thirdly, thanks a million for saying more that night by not saying and jes listening. U r the best (but i am the bestest)

Love
R

ps: NSU is not that great da - ask your cousin to call me up.

************************************************************************
Dear Anon,

I know i said a lot of stuff that day but after a long nights sleep, i am wiser. You have been the catalyst yet again :-p I have kinda made up MY mind but I am NOT gonna tell YOU exactly what you should be doing - coz i have now realised i am not the most competent person to do that. After all i do seem to be "flippant" and "frivolous" so just follow your heart - it will never fail you. Take care and remember i am just a call away.

Forever
R

************************************************************************
Dear Ram,

The dear was put there purely coz my mom wouldn't approve otherwise. I know u r a real bozo and will probably never read this post but if u ever do, its time you returned my 4k back. Asshole ! (Mom, you didn't see or hear that)

Love (purely outta respect for my mom again)
B***u

Those were the best days of my life...

We were 16 of us in the Admissions Committee. We were the envy of most of our batch mates. We were the "chosen ones" - the ones who decided the future of SP. We had our parties - We had our fights - We went through all of it together - we were FAMILY.

Before our farewell, Aparna had this idea of designing a Tee shirt with a caricature of each of us in our characteristic poses. When she was through with it, we loved it so much that we decided we will take a snap along the same lines. Needless to say, lot of the poses weren't very flattering but we were all sports and today this is one snap that brings back a flood of memories. Attagal!! Here it is...


Adcom group snap
Originally uploaded by Jupieee.

Sitting/squatting from left to right

Thiruvalli Rangachari Anand aka TRAsh - Sharp brain hiding behind that lazy allure captured in the pose of Lord Ranganathan himself.

Nandakishore aka Nandu Re - The dancer/musician/artiste of the gang

Jayashri aka Amma - caught in the act - if it was the Kavach kundala for Karna, then its the cell phone for this lady :-)

Pranav Dhar aka Peelu and Neelam Singh aka Neelu - Thick as thieves, pals forever

Narayan Subramanian aka Nari - The sincere, serious, hard working swamiji who had to be persuaded to smile for this photograph

Aparna Sivakumar aka Appu - The creative brains behind ADCOM including this photo/caricature

Standing from Left to Right

Rahul Sarin aka Casanova - Young, dashing knight-in-shining-armor who doubled as Shweta's guardian angel

Shweta Jhanji aka JhaanGE - the "Behn of all Behns" tying the "Rakhi of the day"

Ramakrishnan aka Ki Bro - the smiling (due to relief) "Bhai of the day"

Rajesh Kumar aka Dada - ADCOMs home-bred Kumar Sanu

Ritesh Arya aka Aaloo - "Hic Hic Hurray" was his motto in life

Raghunandan aka Rags - "Show me the beer" was the mantra for this man

Sachin Anand aka Andy - Our Captain with his "usual luggage"

Amrit Pal Singh aka Paaji - "Wots my next funny line" reads the look on his face, always

Kiran Kumar Das aka KKD - Forever lurking behind, doing nothin'

Random musings at five past five

Just back from a 2 hr 32 mts 41 sec conference call. Of course i had a 7 mt break in between when i came back n did some important things..Hold on.. Like commenting on friends' blogs, replying to personal mails..Nothing official about it.. But these conf-calls can be sucha pain u know. Uffffffffff. How many more years am i gonna speak about this 1B$, 3O2OO employees, 30 offices, 91% schedule adherance, blah.. blah.. blah.. Oops. we just hired 6 more ppl so make it 30206. Neway need to unwind hence this post. Don't swear coz nobody is forcing you to read it.

Movie mania: Generally speaking, i seem to have a healthy dislike for sci-fi movies. To quote die hard fans of this genre, I have always lacked the "imagination or class" to appreciate such multilayered efforts. But one movie which beat the trend was Steven Spielberg's MINORITY REPORT. Saw it for the second time again on Star last Saturday and enjoyed it much more this time around. An ingenious concept, brilliant narrative, deft technique, sublime performances..The movie had it all.

I was always a sucker for mush (ok ok some ppl call it chick flicks) and when i heard my CD wala sing praises of this "latest" Pierce Brosnan movie being a "super hit", i fell for it. It takes a lot for me to rubbish a rom-com but LAWS OF ATTRACTION is very mildly put, absolute trash.  Imagine a romantic movie where there is no screen chemistry between the lead pair and comedy sequences are not even half as funny as Johnny Lever's (yikkkessss) - add to this insipid dialogues and a sleep-walking performance by the starcast and what do you have - A perfect recipe for a horrible Sunday evening. Avoid LAWS OF ATTRACTION like the beubonic plague.

Musical ramblings: I have still not got over the Phir Milenge hangover. My mom calls its the official Suprabhatham of 257/1 :-) Prasoon Joshi is the best thing to have happened to Bollywood in the last few years.. No, maybe Mallika Sherawat is..Or is it Katrina Kaif..Chuck de ;-)

Check out Jeene Ke Ishaare - Gulzar would be proud of lyrics like these...

Kuch Khushbuyen Yaadon Ke Jungal Se Beh Chali
Kuch Khidkiyan Lamhon Ke Dastak Pe Khul Gayi
Kuch Geeth Purane Rakhe The Sirhaane
Kuch Sur Kahin Khoye The Bandish Mil Gaye

Jeene Ke Ishare Mil Gaye
Bichde The Kinare Mil Gaye

Meri Zindagi Main Teri Baarish Kya Hui
Mere Raste Darya Bane Behne Lage
Meri Karvaton Ko Tune Aake Kya Chhua
Kahin Khwab Neendon Ki Gali Rehne Lage

for full lyrics

Book corner: Remember, you heard it first at my blog.  Its official now. THE RULE OF FOUR, the book i reco'd looong time back, is selling like hot cakes at all of India's book stores. Stars and celebrities ranging from Naseeruddin Shah to Sachin Pilot, Amisha Patel to Jupe are all planning to read it. Yes. Its out in hard-bound and it costs a whopping Rs. 510 (nobody gets me expensive gifts) *sob* *sob*

Miscellaneous:
Joke of the week:
My friend Mansur whoz joined IIMA this year won an election on Thursday. He successfully contested against 4 other "gentle"men to become the first year rep.

Funny: When i asked him what were the responsibilities of this exalted post, to quote him verbatim this is what he had to say "It means they the pgp office kicks my ass if they're not happy with the batch and the batch kicks my ass if they're not happy with the office"
Funnier: When quizzed on what made him stand for this "It's a big post for the 1st year -  not to mention the fact that i get to meet all the girls in the 1st year"
Funniest: When i asked him how he managed to win, he said "I stood on the planks of honesty, fairness and commitment"

Some things never change, do they ;-)

High point of yesterday:
People call me funny but compared to my bro, i am rank pedestrian. Venki's stories were legendary at SP and he's now joned MindTree here in B'lore. The Ki Bros r back though he refuses to meet me till i promise to share "my women" with him :-p  See, isn't he funny ?

Yesterday he had me in splits with stories of his interaction with Jiju Jolly (now eemajin yeh Mellu sey that), his boss and Ruku Jolly, his boss's sister. Wot's it gonna be today bro - If not for these Mellus, who wud provide us such free entertainment :-) As i say Lage Raho !!

Now will someone pls share with me a nice Mellu joke  :D

H2O

Jetting against the waters on a fast speedboat with the waves splashing on your face.
River rafting down the Ganges.

Sounds exciting? I agree but please count me out of all this - I'd rather sit back and listen to my friends yapping away on how adventurous it was. Its not that I don't like the thrill but I’d rather rock climb or go on a jungle trek.

Yes. The truth is "I am scared of water"

Born and brought up in a town which was pretty much away from the sea, my annual excursions to the beach in Pondicherry and Chennai (yucckkk) during my childhood had been very pleasurable except that I’d rarely ventured beyond 20 meters from the safest spots. Of course, I loved the waves drenching me wet, the shells getting stuck on my feet, the sands making me itchy for a nice hot bath but nothing on earth ever made me step beyond 20 meters - despite seeing kids half my height and age swimming in gay abandon in the middle of the sea (okie, that's another 20 meters further inside)

Looking back, I now remember how jittery I was during that short 5 minute motorboat drive from Juhu to Madh Island -  clinging onto the railing for dear life whilst a fisherwoman, who'd probably gone up and down that stretch all her life, balanced a huge basket on her head and still stood near the edge caring a damn for her safety. Brave woman she was.

Just to illustrate how much I fear water, let me recollect a nice incident from the not-so-distant past. My friends and I were seeing Titanic at Devi (or was it Sathyam) and when that famous scene where Leo and Kate stand at the edge and spread their arms out and enjoy the breeze and the beautiful blue sea around them, whilst my friends were rediscovering their romantic self, my inner voice kept shouting at me "He's gonna fall and the damn fool doesn't even have a life boat."

Talking of life boats, here's another humorous incident. A few months back, one of my oldest friends at work wanted to go swimming at our Corporate HQ. We have a lovely pool out there but more on it later. After a very persuasive lecture on how swimming helped one stay fit, the next five minutes were spent in him drilling into my head all the theory that went into the art of swimming - everything from hand-leg co-ordination to breathing and what not. Finally I was asked to change into trunks and just when we were about to dive into (not exactly, but again I will explain this later) the pool, I asked this million dollar question "Where is my life boat?". My friend tells me that amongst the on-lookers, some eyes popped and some jaws dropped. But I don’t remember any such thing. He exaggerates, as usual. I thought I was perfectly justified in being cautious. Didn't they teach these people at school that "Its better safe than sorry". Okie, now for that twist in the tale. The pool's depth was only 4 feet. You heard it right. 4 feet. But still, I was justified, wasn't I....No prizes for guessing that i didn't get into the pool that day. Went and played TT for an hour and beat the living daylights out of all and sundry. There's got to be a law or something which bans life-endangering sports like swimming and promotes healthy games like TT :-)

So many more stories but I am sure you folks have funnier stuff to narrate. So will leave it here...

Tour De France

A ferocious pull by Brian Charles Lara at the Lords - a masterful diving volley at the net by Boris Becker in Centre Court at Wimbledon - A chip over the bunker by Tiger Woods at the 16th at Augusta - a dizzying spell of potting by Ronnie O' Sullivan at the Crucible - a masterfully taken penalty by Helder Postiga to kick England out of Euro2004.

If there is no ball involved, it ain't sport. Sports does not get more exciting than this.

Or so I thought till it happened. You could pardon me for believing so for I had still not seen the greatest spectacle of them all. Yes, I am talking of the TOUR DE FRANCE. The 2004 edition started off on a sleepy Saturday evening, July 3rd, from Liege and 23 grueling days and 3400 kms later, the event had a champion and I had a new hero. LANCE ARMSTRONG. I've seen Sampras dominate tennis, Schumi rule F1 and the Aussies demolish opponents in cricket but believe me, (this is no understatement) Lance Armstrong was much, much better than all of them put together.

Spread over 20 stages, the Tour De France covers 11 flat stages, 6 mountain stages and then the cyclists compete in 2 individual time-trial stages and 1 team time-trial stage. Its a true test of man's skill, strength and stamina. With just two rest days and 7 stop-over towns in between, the Tour De France is one of the most rigorous events in the sporting calendar. For every evening from that Saturday, I have been glued to Ten Sports watching as the race wound its way from Liege to Charleroi and then to Waterloo, through Chartres and Saint-Léonard-de-Noblat and then the mountain climbs from Limoges and Castelsarassin before touching Valréas, entering Annemasse before culminating in the beautiful Champs-Élysées in Paris. Breath-taking mountains, hidden valleys, rocky climbs, the serene Seine...The last 23 days have simply been magical as I toured France with that amazing man Armstrong.

For the entire photo gallery, please check here.

Happy Birthday Di

What do i wish someone who already has name, fame and pots of gold :-) Being mentally challenged has its limitations, so i will shy away from original poetry like the "Aaj ka Shelleys" and google for a nice B'day poem for you.


BuddyGal
Originally uploaded by Jupieee.

Got it.

Happy birthday to a special friend!
Although I haven't known you many years,
Perhaps because you've dried so many tears,
Pleasure reigns as I these greetings send.
Your happiness should last till all things end!
Because you've been so sweet and understanding
In tough times you've made me laugh and smile
Rejoice in your own specialness awhile:
This I'm not requesting but demanding!

PS: Hmmm.. I might have failed with my greeting card (i know it doesn't match upto my usual high stds) but i am sure the gift compensated. Wotsay? :-)))

PPS: Rgds to Uncle n Aunty and woof woof to Oshi.

PPPS: Sorry for that photo - Ur recent ones would invite undue attention, besides this one is my favorite - chimply cho chweeet.

Email Signature

A signature line on a mail says a lot about one's personality. In the last 5 years of my active mailing, everytime i think i have seen them all, i have been proved wrong by yet another fascinating signature.

My first job in a software company opened my eyes to the geeks and the nerds. One of the first signatures that caught my fancy there was a simple "Code so clean you could eat off it" attached to every mail from Ryan, my client contact in the UK. Then there was this Doug Linder quote which was also popular those days - It ran something like "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." So true :-)

Then there is what i would call the motivational stuff - Boris Becker's "I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play" being one of my favorites.  I believe there is also a category of signatures which can be classified as "wise sayings of great men" - I petly call them "celebrity crap". TRA, my ready-reckoner at SP, use(d/s) them unfailingly but some of his selections are good - in particular Benjamin Franklin's "Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none". Besides, not all celebrities are a bore, i do admire the wit and wisdom of a select few. Just check these out

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself" - Oscar Wilde

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read" - Mark Twain

"I often quote myself, it adds spice to a conversation" - GB Shaw

How about folks who think "rude is cool" - I must admit i have enjoyed quite a few of their signatures too. Johnson, my pal at Infy used to have one that went something like "The more people i meet, the more i love my dog" Another line that grabbed my attention was "If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ."

Then there are people who are imaginative enough to change their signature based on wots in the news now. The best one i've seen is one from my pal, Krish which says "When there's a will... I want to be in it!" :-)

Finally, though my own signature lines keep changing based on my mood, the more regular ones are
"Intelligent women are like domain names: the best ones are always taken"

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Too many freaks, not enough circus's!"

"All generalizations are false"

What's in for me now is "Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?" Tis a pity my boss hasn't caught the drift ? Did you ?

I AM BACK (A' la Arnie)

Good morning darlings :-)

Two days i am away and people don't miss a chance to run a man down. With f(r)iends like the ones i have, no wonder i've never needed enemies.

Okie, to quote William Thacker (Hugh Grant) from my my all time favorite movie Notting Hill,  "I wish to make it clear I've turned a corner and henceforward intend to be impressively happy." So its bad news for you all. Before i forget, Ekta, that was very, very rude - You've never laughed at any of my posts before ?? :-( And G boy, "Revenge is a dish best served cold". Just wait n watch.

So wassup folks? Nothing very interesting from my end. The last few days have been a little rough at work but yes, once in a while its a welcome break from having to click on one's SEND/RECEIVE button in OUTLOOK once in 6 seconds :-) On the domestic front, its been very nice going back to a home where the fridge is stacked with Toblerone and CDM and the dining table is always full of yummy food. No wonder i weigh 81kg now - havta lose some weight :-)

Oh yeah, before i forget, let me remind you all that i will be inaccessible to external forces on August 1st. Yeps, its FRIENDSHIP DAY and before you start trashing it, let me state upfront i also DO NOT believe in such crap. After all, one doesn't celebrate a wonderful thing like friendship on a single day. Ditto that for FATHER'S DAY and MOTHER'S DAY. (Note: I am not even talking of that stupid VAL DAY) Down with American consumerism. I see that i have digressed yet again. On FRIENDSHIP DAY this year, Zee English is devoting 12 continuous hours from 10 am to 10 pm for Season 9 of my favorite sit-com FRIENDS. Sounds too good to be true, right? But yes, i swear its true. Did i hear some "Oh my gawd"s? Good, you've already gotten into the spirit :-)

The weekend is almost here - 8 more hours to go. Fingers crossed. Have a great time folks. Spiderman, here i come. (And this refers to both Tobey and SJ Suryah)

Mr.Funny

Reproduced below r de high points of a conversation between 3 gentlemen: G, Venu and Jupie @ around 10:45 pm IST on Wed, 21st Jul. Dis comic show lasted all of 35 mts - De phone call costs vere as usual picked up by TCS (Venu here works for de world's best company)

Venu: So macha, are u still on one of ur BACH kinda journeys ?
Jupie: Hmmm
Venu: Wotz de latest count ?
Jupie: No comments
Venu: Wotz de latest count ?
Jupie: I said No comments
Venu: Wotz de latest count ?
Jupie: U friggin' deaf or wot. Neway itz less than urs.
Venu: Of course, i am sure itz less than 14 but i'd still like to know the exact figure.
Jupie: 5
Venu: It includes that 1 who was born for you (smirk)
Jupie: Hmm
Venu: Wow, a loser like u also has a market as big as 4. How many have u seen ?
Jupie: Are u nuts, u moron. Child marriage is prohibited by law.
Venu: Someone just told me he is phsically 26 and
mentally 62.


Venu: Just spoke with 1 more, Mridula i think, last weekend macha. And i had to say NO.
Jupie: How can neone ever say NO - Have u thot abt how she feels.
Venu: Foto all nice da macha. Good family but all she kept talking was opportuntities/openings fer software in the US, H1B visa 
Jupie: Ha ha ha.. This sounds so much like Hyderabad Blues and dat Swathy Aunty's daughter character.
Venu: And then she loves Junior NTR da macha.. I cant stand that bugger. Even in email she wrote abt this last film Samba
Jupie: I am loving this. You like Ramba and she likes Samba.
Venu: Macha, its my life da. I cant compromise. I will wait for Ms PERFECT.
Jupie: Wot if urs got lost because she took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
G: Ha Ha Ha.. Awesome man.


(By now Jupie has considerably cheered up at Venu's expense)

 
Venu: So when are u getting married?
Jupie: Ask Kirsten Dunst. She just broke up yesterday. She has to decide.
Venu:  Get serious da. Are u going to Chennai for that thing only?
Jupie: Gimme a break asshole. Can't ya Gults think of anything but marraige ?
G: Chuck it da Venu. Neway our man is going to SUNDARAPANDYAPURAM to get his girl.
Venu:  I didnt get that.
G: Thats the village Arvind Swamy goes to get a gal in Roja
Venu: Oh that way huh. Who is it gonna be - the bold Roja or her demure elder sister?
Jupie: Fuk you guys, why cant i get that HOT Rukmani even in my dreams.
G: He he he he he he he he
Venu: U r ulti macha.
Jupie: Yaya, considering i've used that line thrice today :-(

Jupie, some people's existence is only to bring happiness and cheer into other people's lives.They were born to entertain. Now stop this silly sulking and get back to being "normal". If this aint convincin' enuf, look at ydy's site numbers - they are faaaaaaaalling. Come back sonny.

Sorry 2 for writing this but i guess i can take that liberty, canti ?

Filler no: 1

Jupie is in a terrible mood. Requsted me to fill in for the whole of dis week. Since i'm just back from a holiday in the North-East, thot i'd share my travelog. But Jupie insists i write on only stuff i know somethin' about. Which he presumes is movies - this beggar actually wants to be a chooser :)

Nyways, GOOD WILL HUNTING is 1 of our all-times faves. Tis got something for all kindsa ppl. The romantics, the sentimentalists, the losers, the philosphers, the entire lot. So will showcase it for the whole of dis week.

For details of basic plot, cast and characters, plz check here.

GWH for the romantics

Will sits with Morgan at the bar watching with some amusement as Chuckie and Billy play bar basketball game where the players shoot miniature balls at a small basket. In the B.G.Occasionally we hear Chuckie shouting "Larry!" When he scores.
Skylar emerges from the crowd and approaches Will.

SKYLAR
You suck.

WILL
What?

SKYLAR
I've been sitting over there for forty-
five minutes waiting for you to come
talk to me. But I'm just tired now
and I have to go home and I wasn't
going to keep sitting there waiting
for you.

WILL
I'm Will.

SKYLAR
Skylar. And by the way.
That guy over there is a real dick and
I just wanted you to know he didn't
come with us.

WILL
I kind of got that impression.

SKYLAR
Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get
up early and waste some more money on
my overpriced education.

WILL
I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...

SKYLAR
Here's my number.

Skylar produces a folded piece of paper and offers it to Will.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Maybe we could go out for coffee
sometime?

WILL
Great, or maybe we could go somewhere
and just eat a bunch of caramels.

SKYLAR
What?

WILL
When you think about it, it's just as
arbitrary as drinking coffee.

SKYLAR
(laughs)
Okay, sounds good.

She turns.

WILL
Five minutes.

SKYLAR
What?

WILL
I was trying to be smooth.
(indicates clock)
But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come
over there and talk to you.

SKYLAR
See, it's my life story.
Five more minutes and I would have got
to hear your best pick-up line.

WILL
The caramel thing is my pick-up line.

A beat.

SKYLAR
Glad I came over.

*Chuckling with delight*

What a start to the day. Just had a "normal" telephonic discussion over VoIP (decibel levels must have been at 80) with one of the Technical Managers here. I always thought i was cocky and arrogant but this "gentle"man makes me feel like an amateur. We got into a healthy debate on the pros/cons of a particular marketing approach (shan't bore you all with trivial details) but luckily for me, it was one of those occasions when i knew what i was talking about. It did help that i had done a lot of home-work on this particular topic (5 hrs on Saturday) and was prepared for all his counter-arguments. I am usually a gracious winner and never believe in hurting a man who is already down-and-out. Dunno what got into me today but despite the fact that my opponent was beating a retreat mid-way into our conversation, i did not let go. I dragged him deeper and deeper and refused to let go till he finally accepted that he had been wrong. Felt good :-)

Big boss is in Europe - Small boss no: 1 is in Pune - Small boss no: 2 is at the customer's premises. I was also due to go to Chennai but lest there be a leadership vacuum here, i graciously offered to stay back and rule. Did i say rule? Technically, as Aravind loves putting it, i am head of the BU for the whole of today. Will someone please bring me some papers to sign? Will someone please call me up and request for approvals - attendance record, leave records - kuch bhi chalega. I AM THE BOSS TODAY :-)

Break for coffee. (Slurppp) I make good coffee (shabaash)

Back at my seat. No fires to douse, no more arguments to pick up - have only our Six Sigma project to do. Maybe i should listen to some music. Hmmm.. Phir Milenge? Yes. After the critically acclaimed Mitr, this is Revathy's second venture and stars Sallu, Abi baby and Shilpa "hot legs" Shetty. With music by my favorite SEL and lyrics by that funny man Prasoon Joshi, Phir Milenge does not disappoint. Here's a taste of my favorite song in the album

Betaab dil hai dhadkanon ki kasam
Naa reh sakenge ab judaa hoke hum
Waada karo tum, Jaane se pehle
Waada karo tum, Jaane se pehle
Phir Milenge sanam

And no prizes for guessing who sings this number - Sonu. Yesssssssssssss.

TROY

Saw Troy yesterday. Before I start my dissection (do I hear groans?) let me confess upfront I loved the movie inspite of its obvious flaws. The hype and hoopla was worth it. Here's my take on the movie

Helen: "Baby, this old buggers no good - I wanna have good sex every day. Puhleeez"
Paris: "Oh boy - coool - but I got nice new Kurl-Ons at home in Troy - wanna move in with me ?"
Helen: "Sounds good - lets go baby"

And so Paris abducted Helen and Melenaus waged war and Hector died defending and Troy burned and Achilles became immortal ...(in background, Bryan Adams croons "And its all for SEX... All for SEX..")

On a more serious note,
Thumbs up to the
Brilliant cinematography, haunting background score, spell-binding art direction and excellent performances by Eric Bana (have just penciled you in for my first Hollywood movie) as Hector and Peter O Toole as Priam.

Thumbs down to the
Lack of depth in the characterisation of Hector/Helen/Menelaus, Absence of genuinely stirring emotional moments.

A few questions to Mr. Wolfgang Petersen, the director

* If Helen was supposed to be "the face that launched a thousand ships", then why Diane Kruger? Why not Catherine Zeta Jones or Keira Knightley or even Kareena Kapoor?

* Was Paris such a wimp even in Homer's Illiad ? (Gotta check out this book now)

* Eye-popping visuals apart, did you need a 180m$ budget to reinforce the Tenth Commandment "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife" Someone give me this kinda money to make "1984" - Please.

Spare a thought please

Did you know that there are 13 million homeless children in India?
Did you know that 3% of India's children are mentally/physically challenged?
Did you know that of every 100 Indian children born 1 dies before birth?

There are many more alarming statistics about the aged, the destitute and other under privileged that I can pull out to prove my point but this post is not for dramatic effect. On the contrary, I am sure we are all aware of the situation around us. Whilst we are all proud that INDIA is indeed SHINING on the economic front, I am sure we are also in agreement that there is lots more that needs to be done.

Social revolutions do not need special people - all it takes is for each of us to realize our responsibilities towards the society we live in. "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" But why is it that we are all so pre-occupied with our own lives that we think we have done our bit by simply sending in that odd check towards our favorite charity. I am not, in any way, demeaning our efforts but isn't it time we realized we needed to do more than that. Finances are scarce and yes, the monetary angle is definitely one that needs attention. But when was the last time we took a Sunday afternoon off to meet these abandoned old citizens and spend quality time with them. Do we remember our last outing to an orphanage when we set aside half a day to see life through their eyes?

When I say "we", I do not take the moral high ground and exclude myself. I am as guilty as you are. I still remember the delight in the eyes of all those wonderful, old people at Annai Ashram when we visited them to gift them the clothes we had collected at RECT. I still have fond memories of that trip to the orphanage in East Tambaram when I was working in Infy. Why, even that half a day trip to the home for abandoned children near Churchgate during first year at SP remains fresh in my mind. Why is it that I have never been able to do it more regularly? Isn't it time we all woke up to the fact that we are so much better off than some of our other brethren? Isn't it time for us to do something about it? Think about it.

Leaving you with a link to one of the people I tremendously admire in my life. I am sure you must have heard about Vidyakar of Udavum Karangal

Anyone who has ever visited his facility at Tiruverkadu will be a reborn person. However if you are weak at heart, I would advice that you stay away since one is sure to be emotionally gutted.

I guess I have made my point. At this point I would like to acknowledge the efforts of a few people.

My friend Jayashri in Chennai who for all her crankiness unfailingly devotes time teaching under privileged children every weekend.

BP for your unselfish and tireless work for the Infy foundation

All my fellow Rotaractors, particularly Mansur, Partha and BK who believed in what we did (however small it may have been) those days

And lastly, KS, for being my conscience keeper and reminding me that my writing this post could actually make a difference. I am proud to have known ya and I gotta thank Infy for it.

Blah Blah Blah

17-7-2004
Pisces
Things may not be perfect but judging by the current planetary setup, they are probably good. Still if there is any element of an arrangement or close relationship that you would like to improve, its vital that you express your views. Be forthright with those involved about where you stand.....blah blah blah

That was my astro prediction for the day based on TOI. When I saw it today morning, my eyes lit up. Ever heard of favorite weekend tantrums ? Mine usually involves ranting and raving about how the world does not accept rebels like me. Screaming and shouting about how I wanna give up this monotonous job and do something that really excites me is not very uncommon. So after reading the day's prediction for me, I thought I should say the thing that used to scare my folks most "I wanna get into the movies - If Nagesh Kukunoor and Cindy Crawford can give up Chemical Engineering and Mani Ratnam can give up an MBA, so can I." Please note: I use the phrase "used to" - So you can guess what happened - Yes, they did not react to it. I am beginning to believe they've seen through me :-( But, why is it that no one thinks I can make it big at K/B/Hollywood ? Hey, you doubting Thomases, check out my past - I was always one of the best in school plays. Check out the emotions.


Schoolplay1
Originally uploaded by Jupieee.

From left to right
1 - Solomon Gerard: now all of 6'6", coding at CTS
2 - Johnny Prabhu: God-Knows-where
3 - Naveed Ibrahim: MBA from Australia, now plying his trade in Chennai
4 - Prabhu Missier: slogging his butt off at Honeywell
5 - (Can't name since paparazzi will swoop on this snap): Entertaining 32 ppl every day

Hey, maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe that astro-prediction was not for my career. Coz this is what my daily email prediction has to say

Here is your horoscope for Saturday, July 17:
You have never been luckier romance-wise. It's like you've won a lottery that you never knew you entered, and you're completely baffled as to how to spend the money. Be creative.

(Acknowledgements to whoever gave my email id for this daily subscription - I was so tempted to unsubscribe but the last 3 days it's been saying nice things and I didn't have the heart to)

So what should I say/do now ?

There's something about Minal Ahuja

I am referring to my MITR here. For those of you who don't work here, MITR is an internal counseling program that's being actively promoted within my company. As the publicity posters/mails clearly specify, the counselor does not give advice  to the problem. He/She is there to help you to see the problem objectively and enable you to take the decision you think right.

Minal, whos volunteered to be a MITR and describes herself in 5 words as Positive, Emotional, Intelligent AND Effervescent (Avinash, don't you dare laugh) seems to be jes the right antidote to my "problems". I think she will make my best MITR considering people often call me Negative, Indifferent, Dumb AND Passive :-)

And hey, I am proud of the fact that I was one of the first to see that spark/halo around her. Kaushik and Avinash, damn you guys. In case you are hooting with laughter on reading this, you can go to hell.

Have a nice weekend folks but pls don’t forget to visit my blog tomorrow too. There's loads to do so I am working. For regular readers, plans are afoot to revive our Mega Serial "Love Story...revisited" - The WunderKids cud be back in action soon. Keep your fingers crossed.

PS: This post was primarily to check the new formatting thingy which allows me to use colors. Yippeee....
PPS: Iske saath hat-trick of two posts per day ho gaya - Now I can RIP :-)

Chivalry - my foot !

Some guys are plain kill-joys. And *&^% (he doesn't even deserve a mention) is the biggest of them all amongst my buddies. I had mailed him on how i had given up my seat in the company bus Tuesday evening for a sweet lady (i believe she is married and 30+ so don't even dare to suspect my motives) and what does he do.. He sends me a questionnaire yesterday. Am reproducing it here with my answers.

Do you usually open doors for women (cars, hotels)?
Yes, almost always do

Do you usually offer women your seat in a crowded bus ?
Ahem..Sometimes

Do you usually let women get into the elevator first?
Yes. Always

Do you usually pull chairs for women in restaurants?
Hmm.. Most of the times

Do you usually offer to hold hands and help women negotiate a busy road / rainy puddle?
Yes, i do

Do you usually offer to help them with their coats?
Haven't had an occasion to but i guess i would..

Proud that i seemed to have fared reasonably well in the test, i was eagerly awaiting his mail in return till he sent me this disgusting piece.

Now i am not so sure :-(

Mr. Murphy, I salute you

Second consecutive day when I am troubling my readers with a double bill. But kya karoon, can't help it. This afternoon's incidents were too hilarious to not report.

Murphy's law rocks. And how...

Had this customer from the Netherlands dropping in on us at EC. As it usually happens, when less important people in my company get stuck in deep shit, they pull in the more important ones too so that the pain can be shared. So at 2:15 today afternoon, just when I had returned back from a hearty lunch I got my summons from boss to attend this customer meeting. Half asleep, I trudged towards the other half of the campus only to find that I was running late and had to climb five flights of stairs to reach this place called OAK. No sooner had I entered the room than the usual introductions happened. These guys insisted on exchanging business cards and it was only then that I realized that I had none in my wallet. My boss gave me a stare which roughly translated as " ()**&^%$^($ , How on earth did this scum bag get into Marketing ?"

10 minutes into the meeting, my eyes drooped and I fell asleep only to be rudely awakened by what seemed to be a question directed towards me. Mumbling something incomprehensible under the guise of an answer, I resolved not to make a fool of myself anymore. Since the tea and coffee had not yet come in, I thought I would keep myself awake with some Pepsi. And yes, it happened again. The damn can would not open and when I gave my last almighty tug, it fizzed out making as much noise as a hundred hissing serpents. Needless to say everyone stared at me. Anxious to make amends, I stared solemnly at the screen and nodded at everything that was said. Soon there was a change of presenters and the projector connections had to tinkered with. Eager to redeem myself, I offered to do it but predictably, the customer's laptop conked off no sooner had I touched it. That was it. That was the last straw in the camel's back. Taking it as sign from God, divine intervention to stop this lousy sequence of events, I gracefully (??) withdrew from the rest of the evenings proceedings.

Now as I sit back n think, has it been one of "those days" ? If so, just like that funda Samuel L Jackson gives in Unbreakable, "Is there an exact opposite for this kind of a day ?" Just imagine - I wake up as late as I possibly can, the geyser heat is just about right, board the bus and get my favorite seat, Sunaina plays all my favorite songs on Josh 91, open my inbox to see 76 mails incl: that one looooong one from u-no-hoo, then my blog gets 20 hits in 10 minutes, boss calls up n gives me credit for something I did not do, have a good lunj - aloo paratha and juice with Kau giving us his wonderful stories, return back to surf the net, do some work, play TT and then leave at 7:30, watch some tennis on telly and then round off the day with FRIENDS on Zee English.

If wishes were horses..!

The English Language

I have often been accused of forming strong opinions about people based on their proficiency with the English language. No kidding. On serious introspection, i do admit that this might have been the case on more than a few occasions but i can't help it. Dats me! Coming to think of it, its no coincidence that some of my people i really respect are ones who can weave magic with their writings - Onion, Copygurrl, Milind9x, Sidin to name a few.

Looking back, i think it all started with my studying 14 years in Campion in Trichy. At school, we were always under the vigilant eyes of our teachers who would never tolerate if the students spoke in anything but English. (save the Language classes) We also had those L&D classes on Thursdays or Fridays which we all used to really look forward to. My interest in the language was also sparked by my Std 8 English Teacher Mr. Vernum , a gentleman who could speak impeccable Queen's English (In Trichy, twas a rarity) and whose vocabulary and diction remains till today one of the best i've ever heard.

Today when i write letters (i still do once in a while) or mails, i find myself enjoying the language, toying with it to suit the occasion. So when people call me garrulous and remind me that "A silent man is a wise one" i retort saying "A man without words is a man without thoughts" :-)

A few weeks back, when i was at some sort of crossroads, one of my pals adviced me saying that its "Better safe than sorry" - Quick to the return, i quipped "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" - It was only later that i realised that the language itself had given me a solution to my predicament.

I do use a lot of other contradicting adages to my advantage, some of them being

Two's company; three's a crowd
The more, the merrier

What will be, will be
Life is what you make it

Birds of the same feather flock together
Opposites attract

Lets cross bridges when we come to them.
Forewarned is forearmed

The bigger, the better
The best things come in small packages

In case you know any more let me know. Knowledge is power :-) (Hint: Hint:)

My day is made

I have never felt so good for months. Yippeeeeeeee !
Remember I mentioned in some post ages back that I’d seen HP3. Okie, here's a nice story.

My friends and I had gone to Rex to catch the evening show but as usual someone had goofed up and we were one ticket short. And being a Sunday it was HOUSEFULL too. Since I had already seen it once, I’d offered to go back home when we chanced to find a family who had an extra ticket. The only problem was that the seats were not in the same row so I thought I might as well not take it. But when this chweeet, adorable 11 year old walked upto me and said "Uncle, we have an extra ticket and you should see this movie, HP movies are so cool" I was floored (the Uncle part hurt though)

The next two hours were simply amazing. Sirisha (dats her name) without any exaggeration on my part was a raving, mad fan of JKR and the HP series. She was literally sitting at the edge of her seat and chatting with me incessantly, giving me every single detail about the scene. When I was groping for the name for that bus which helps Harry when he escapes from home, she rebuked me for forgetting such "simple things" and educated me on the "Knight bus and its conductor Stan". However I did get my revenge later in the second half when she forgot the name of the "Whomping Willow" :-) When the Marauding Map first made its appearance in the movie she almost shrieked in delight. I was really sorry when the movie ended coz I have never had such intelligent company for a movie date. As we descended down, her father exchanged pleasantries and chatted up with me. We also exchanged cards (I’ve lost his)

And then it happened today afternoon. Am reproducing the mail here

Hi Ram uncle,

Remember me. Wasn't Azkabun cool? Nowdays i see Spiderman trrailors in TV. Heard its coming August. School's there but I will see it. U must too. Tobi is so cute.

(((((( Ram uncle ))))))

Bye
Sirisha

I've always hated emoticons but when I checked wot this meant, I was moved. I always knew kids were the bestestest things God created but this one takes the cake. Sirisha, u r my bestest friend. Can I join u, uncle and aunty for Spidey?

Damn these triangles

Some people hate Calculus. Some others Algebra. I don’t fall under both these categories. My pet hate in school was Trigonometry. If one goes by Greek word origins, I think u will see that tri means three and gonia means angle and metron basically means measure. So roughly trigonometry translates to measurement of three angles or simply put, measurement of triangles. Careful post-mortems have linked a lot of my miseries today to the fundamental problem this subject seems to have with me.

(Flash back to end-of-school days)

Tall and lanky that I was, I had always dreamt of being a tear-away pace bowler a la Joel Garner. It was only when I tried living my dreams in the 22 yards that I realized that the ball never landed within the nets. Throwing aside sheer pace, I used to try and concentrate on line and length a la Glen McGrath but then my pace was so pedestrian that the keeper had to come in front of the stumps, collect the ball and try and effect a stumping during those rare occasions when the batsman had not smashed me out of the park. While I labored on, my coach Mr.Rex never had the heart to ask me to take a walk. He would always encourage me during the trials subtly suggesting that I should return to take up my off spin since I could use my height and get my beautiful arc/loop going. However in those days, spin was for sissies and I would have none of it. Finally, on D-Day when it would be time for announcing the list of selected people, I would invariably hear "There is someone else.." Those dreaded 4 words. Yeah, I was still selected for my off spin but then there was this unknown third entity who always got wot I wanted, the third variable in the equation that I always failed to factor in, the much hated third angle to the problem that I had not measured. Trigonometry at work.

Ever since, I have had more than my fair share of spats with Trigonometry. The one I can recollect immediately is how I was allotted to my TOYS R US project at Infy. Since I had expressed a desire to get into Telecom, I had been half expecting to get allotted to the Alcatel account but then I had forgotten about this mysterious third angle that always seems to spring from nowhere to ridicule me. There was another lateral, Karthik Narayan(an) from TCS, who had been dilly-dallying on his joining date since the monsoons in Mumbai had led to all the trains being cancelled for a few days on the route.(July 2000 monsoons were awful in Maharashtra) This guy who had conveyed to HR that he would be delayed by a week suddenly landed up on the same day as I did. So as usual it was "There is someone else..." and I had to settle for second best. I was forced into Retail whereas Mr. Third-Angle was given Alcatel on a platter.

Today after so many years, when I think I have finally made peace with trigonometry, there it is raising its ugly specter again. Just when I have fallen in love. Or atleast I think so. Please don't smirk, OK - Please - Its not books, Govinda, Wimbledon or even my new Gmail account. Its a she - a real she - not the Kareena or Maria Sharapova or whoever. But why do I get that intuition that there is this third angle lurking behind in the shadows. In fact, I am dreading the day when I'm gonna hear those words "There is someone else.."

Brave men die once - Cowards and people who hate trigonometry die a million deaths. Will keep you all posted, for better or for worse :-)

Communication

I think today's post is gonna be one of my favorites. Got the idea from a fellow blogger's entry.

COMMUNICATION: The activity of process of giving information to other people.

Down memory lane:
At school (not the business one) the only forms of communication I had ever heard were the written and the oral form. The former I loved - essays, critiques and letters. The latter I abhorred - speeches and debates. I still have horrid memories of my first public speech. Till my std: 10, I had participated and won most of the events based on written English in my district, be it Spelling Bees for 5 years or creative writing contests (okie, mebbe it shows how abysmally low the competition levels were but I’d like to believe otherwise) My quizmate and bosom buddy Shakir had always been the one who had stolen the show whenever it came to stages and speeches. It all took a turn for the worse in Std 11. I recollect how my English teacher cum Vice Principal Brother Thiruthuvam forcibly entered my name for an oratorical competition. It was all scheduled for a Monday afternoon and the topic had been "Should begging be banned?” I was sure I’d make a fool of myself in front of an audience of around 400 (all students from std 8 to Std 12 are usually invited for this) and so secretly planned to take the afternoon off by sneaking out post-lunch feigning illness. But smart man that he was, our VP had warned the Principal that certain students might be inclined to take this route and so I was denied leave. And then when lots were drawn, I was first up. I will fast forward the next 6 minutes of what happened but just to give you an idea of what happened, I think my dear friend Sridhar later told me that if I had been measured for my performance on the Richter scale, I would have clocked a 10 :-(

My next public performance was at REC in Trime 1 for the appropriately titled "Communication for Beginners". Thanks to Ms Banumathi, we were atleast allowed to choose our own topics. Those were the days when I used to be a last bencher, hang around with the "enfant terribles" and generally rebel for no rhyme or reason. Two amongst the numerous rules for membership to this exclusive, elitist gang was a total refusal to speak English and to completely ignore women. (the founding members of this club were obviously from Mech and Chem) I had decided I would make a one time exception and flout rule: 1 and had carefully prepared a speech on "Chances of India winning WC '96" - However Man proposes, God disposes. The lady who spoke before me, Anusha an NRI returned from Dubai, gave one of the most stirring speeches I have ever heard on Indian culture - and btw, she was dressed in a western outfit that left nothing to imagination :-) That one really got my goat and I changed speeches and launched into a furious diatribe on such pseudo people. Needless to say, I scored high on that assignment but the Prof. never ever ventured to allow us to pick our own topics after that. And better late than never, Anusha, sorry - it was never personal :-p

The advantage of working in a more than a few companies is that u get to while away a lot time under the guise of induction/training every time u shift jobs. My first job at MBT, needless to say, had a communication module as part of its initiation program. The only difference was that we were all video graphed. This time there was additional pressure since my colleagues were MBA grads from SIBM or undergrads from IIT-Kanpur. But my my, wot a ball we had. I have seen weirdos and whackos but Sarvesh at MBT has to be the best. His speech was loosely based on "Women and how to pataofy them" - half way through he was stopped and asked to change topics. He then chose "Yoga and music at 5 am (and how it helps to win women)" Needless to say I have never laffed harder than that in my whole life. My speech, relatively speaking was a tad boring on "Life in hostels". Two days later, after the course was over, we were video graphed again to see whether we had improved and I think I did fairly better. These courses actually help, you know.

Then came Infy where I was hired as a lateral so no training programs for me :-( But then there was Toastmasters. Since it had been almost 4 months since I’d challenged myself to talk in front of a crowd of strangers, I signed in. It went off well except that people seemed to have a trance like look after I had finished my speech. I had chosen to speak on MPD and how Sidney Sheldon has made a mess of it in "Tell Me Your Dreams" :-)

Hmm..Cut to B-school - Third week@SP - The course: Communication. The procedure: same old videography method except that this was to be a presentation in PowerPoint. (pssst: When I had joined SP, my only lofty ambition had been to go to Lonavla-Khandala as one and come back as two. That didn’t happen :-) This was my second chance to floor everyone) I had zeroed down on two topics that would both make me comfortable and also appeal to the "intellectual women" in my batch - "Humor in English Literature" and "Why I was born to be an SPJIMRite" - But all my plans went awry when we were all allotted topics - and mine was supposed to be a business presentation to corporates on "SPJIMR for you". Result: a B on that assignment.

After that there have been numerous other instances of presentations in Mktg classes but all that for another rainy day. Maybe I should start working now :-)

Super Sunday

No, I am not toking of yet another Schumi win - which incidentally is getting more and more boring. I am specifically referring to how thrilling life can be during weekends. Whilst one of my friends was on a safari tour in South Africa, yet another embarked on a trip to Bangkok for a song-n-dance routine - A third pal of mine was gallivanting in Sikkim fresh from the success of selling "our" first movie script (Girish, I will never ever forgive u for this) whilst the fourth seemed to be holidaying in a beach in Kerala days after joining the 'rigorous' IIMs. With so much excitement happening around the world, can I be far behind ? Guess Guess.

Okie, I was reeling from an experience which had more excitement that what I had Bargained for even in my wildest dreams. I was busy controlling a flood. Okie, as usual I exaggerate but Sunday evening was the time the Rain Gods chose to bless Bangalore with all the water that was due for the last two years - all the water that cost SM Krishna his re-election. And Sunday evening was also the time, the underground water pipe in Koramangla First Block decided it was time to go phhhhtttt. The result was that at 7:08 pm, water entered our house.

My folks, having witnessed a messy flood in 1977, were naturally aghast but innocent me was reveling in the joys of seeing a new spectacle. It wasn’t until the water level in our hall rose to around 4 inches that some sense prevailed on me. I have never understood how on earth my MBA helps in my present role as an SME but it sure seems to have taught me composure and presence of mind. With the calm approach of a practiced hand, I was soon shifting my new TV, old washing machine and our really old dining table to the first floor. Next thing I understood was that water is always very difficult to contain - so the easiest way to get rid of it is to help it find its flow. So I managed to find a small outlet to the earth near our garden and helped divert some water there. Lastly, the biggest learning was that when there are problems like this never visit the Johnny - coz the damn thing never flushes. It comes back.. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

The scene yesterday night at around 12 was that all the water had drained but the place was a big mess full of leaves, twigs and wot-not. Needless to say I had a sleepless night. I was in no mood to come to office today but as usual, a person's true worth is known only when they are not around (sob sob..Kisiki yaad aa gayi) - so many fone calls asking me " Jupe, yeh kaise karna hai" "Jupe, aaj custy visit hai.. aa jao plssss.. Wipro needs you" - So I had to come here. The meeting just got over. N I HAD to blog - hence am here. But believe me folks, I think I will settle for something less excitable next weekend. I have made plans too. Am gonna hire a sports bicycle, wear 2/3rd trousers, spike up my hair (yaaaaaaaaaaaaa), wear orange shades and ride up and down Brigade and MG. Wotsay ?

PS: The high point of y'day evening was when I wanted to take a snap of our house at around 8 pm. Needless to say, u can imagine how my folks reacted.

The letter I never sent

Dear Mama,

Some things never change, do they? Starting from my early childhood when you used to force me to earn my B'day presents by setting me difficult quizzes to the present day when you don't hesitate to point out every slip I make (wasn't Circa the last?), I got to hand it to you for being the most influential person in my life. And believe me, that’s as big a compliment as I can ever give. Cutting to the chase, why this letter today? It’s because of this "Hypnerotomachia Poliphili" thing you mentioned in one of your mails a month back.

(For the uninitiated,"Hypnerotomachia Poliphili" as a book defies categorization - is it an autobiography, a book on architecture, erotica, or does it champion women's rights. Is it a puzzle book or is it plain gibberish? For more details, here is a very interesting link)

At that time I had dismissed it as yet another attempt by you to show me how much more catching up I had to do (how about a handicap system like in polo or golf) but I just managed to read an article in ET a few days back on those two wonder kids and their book "Rule of Four". And yes, mildly put, it was very intriguing indeed.

It seems Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason, two 28-year-old Ivy League super-achievers have drawn upon an authentic 1499 Renaissance text to create a thriller about two Princeton undergraduates who try to unravel the mysteries in "Hypnerotomachia Poliphili". It’s rumored that Caldwell and Thomason, who grew up across the street from each other in Northern Virginia, put in almost 6 years of research effort into this book. The book has been released in the US in May and has been declared an instant hit. Critics have compared it more than favorably with my other favorite Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code (which you must surely read)

I am not so sure "Rule of Four" is out in India but you can be rest assured that I shall buy it, read it and send it to you as soon as i am done. After all, so many people read this blog of mine and I am sure someone must be thinking of it as a nice present for me :-)

Forever
Me

ps: Love to Abhi and Nandhini

Aise hi

I have no ideas for a post today. I see sitemeter telling me my blog has reached 1000 hits. Yesterday's site stats says i had 47 visitors - It's got to be malfunctioning or has the world FINALLY discovered me? (and about time too) Wowwww !! I am as proud as Hugh Hefner. (gloating) Ok, let me explain ;-)

Playboy's first edition never had a date stamp coz Hefner never believed there would be a second edition. The rest as they say is 'his'tory. Now u see the connexion.(Atleast I don’t) Neway, what do I generally do when I am at a loss for topics? I think of a word that catches my fancy, go to Google Images and then get my material for the daily ritual. Today's word is MUD-WRESTLING.

After sieving through some "interesting" and some "not-so-interesting" photographs, I’ve finally found this one which was kinda cute.



mud-wrestling
Originally uploaded by Jupieee.

Now who do I imagine as the two women in the red and blue corner? How about "subse best Rly Minister ki patni" Rabri Devi and rabble-rousing Maneka Gandhi? Or wouldn't it be interesting if it were Rebecca Loos and Posh...If this were the 70s, then Rekha and Jaya Bachchan would have been a good match-up too. Or how about Amelie Mauresmo and Jennifer Capriati. So many possibilities.... Any suggestions?

My Bloginality

I took the Blogging Personality Quiz at About Web logs and I am...

The Writer
Words captivate me. And, I like to capture words. Blogging enables me to write often. It also provides a place for me to share what I write with a reading public. I can be funny, inspiring, intelligent, cynical, or morbid. It doesn't matter what I write about in my blog. It only matters that I write.

I liked most of those adjectives though morbid wasn't exactly complimentary. But I guess all these tests have a certain margin for error and I will excuse them, this one time, for getting that bit wrong.

And hey, not every day do I blog (to be read as: crap) just for the sake of blogging. Maybe just to reinforce this point of mine, I shall write a detailed analysis of Chidambaram's budget in a few days. Or maybe why John Kerry has chosen Senator Edwards as his running mate. Or should it be a commentary on the history behind the feuding Iraqi tribes. You getting the point nuh? I can basically write on anything under the sun, erudite I really am. (If you've got it, FLAUNT it) It’s only that I choose to blog (to be read again as: crap) this way.

Before I sign off, I got this funny thingy a few days back in e-mail. See if you can crack it.

Schwartzenegger has a big one
Michael J. Fox has a small one
Madonna doesn't have one
The Pope has one but doesn't use his
Clinton uses his all the time
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one
Liberace never used his on women
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3
We never saw Lucy use Desi's

What is it?

My Graduation Thank Yoo speech - part 2

Now that I have dispensed with the usual suspects, let me concentrate on the silent and often unacknowledged behind-the-scene players who have contributed so much to making my 2 year stay at SP a memorable one.

Thanks a tonne to...

Everyone@TheBistro especially young Sharad - u guys were almost family - feeding me those endless coffees, pastries and soft drinks.

Valsan, Ajay and Prashant at CC for helping me get my comp back running no sooner had it crashed (which was once too often for my liking)

Preeti for sending us those long dreadful mails about classes and test schedules that no one cared to read :-)

Bankim and Vincent at admin without whom I would have never realized the powers of bureaucracy

Suhaas and Prahlad at admin without whom I would not have learnt how to get around bureaucracy :-p

Mukesh for your loads and loads of patience in putting up with Adcom

Khidkiwaali Sunita for making me wait to pick up the books over the counter - believe me, those hours seemed like just minutes coz of u :-)

Nishi for being our silent partner in scheduling classes such that we had maximum time off ;-)

Varsha ma'am without whom my education at SP would have been so incomplete

All the Professors and Lecturers for trying ur damnedest to get me to learn - special mention to AKD sir n his sense of humor, Noorul Islam for those wonderful Ad videos, Ravi for your "balls" lectures and Jayesh Talpade for his Art of Living (to be read as: Sales and Distribution Channels) lectures

All the staff of Vrindavan for those wonderful lunches and dinners at discounted prices

Shiva for his unique qawali entertainment and quaint paan shop

Guptaji for his incomparable cutting chai and vada paav (Saakshi, u never know wot u missed, ask Richa)

The STD booth wala who always complained that I never made looooong fone calls :-p

Harish at the music store in Planet M, Andheri who was brave enough to try my management funda (shelf space optimisation) in reality

Prithvi, Fame Adlabs, Juhu beach, Crosswords, Mahalaksmi, Ram Naik, Lokhandwala, Madh Island, Navrang and a million other places where I have left my indelible footprint - Thanks you all !

Whew !

(Clap Clap Clap)

My Graduation Thank Yoo speech - part 1

If Oscar winners are allowed to make speeches, then why aren't we allowed the same privileges at graduation ceremonies. After all, this is as big an event as it gets in every Joe's life. Considering I never got a chance to make one, here I go attempting one.

(Since I don’t have our yearbook with me now and all I have is the B'day calendar staring at me, the acknowledgements are in the order of ppl's B'day)

It’s been a great pleasure knowing all 132 of you. Each one, in ur own way, have left an indelible mark on me and as I find myself running the last 10 mtrs of my student life, I would like to place on record my humble thanks to

Inspector Shukla for teaching me that money borrowed during Markops and Markstrat is probably the only time in life when it does not need to be repaid

Chinu for showing me that a 2 year all expenses paid holiday is still possible staying at B-school - Ur poor father !

Tusku for all those magical moments of sheer madness on IP at 1 am in the morning

Sumit for all those proxies in Market Research without which my Wednesday evenings would have been lifeless

Saakshi for discovering the romantic in me (Saathiya...Saathiya) and proving that kids will always be kids

Dada for entertaining all the D-wingers by being more KKD than KKD himself

Onkar for teaching me that one could LOVE-ALL

Aunindo for enlightening me on the merits of leading a clean life

Ramesh for giving me definite proof that GOD exists and for those 8 weeks of sheer delight called DOCC. Oh Podu !

Rads for reminding me that women can sometimes be smarter than men :-p

Addy for reinforcing my belief that nerds could be extremely fun-loving too. You rox !

Jaya for our great times in Adcom and for our long and ever-lasting friendship

Break ke baad

Venki - my bro, my soul-mate, my partner-in-crime, my man-for-all-seasons from TT to Television

Neelam for all the treats, movies, walks and hours spent doing boring Adcom work

Kerry for showing me how to live life serving others :-)

Promod for shocking me with ur wild ways and infuriating me with ur affection :-p

TRA for being my ready-reckoner for anything remotely associated with Marketing and academics

Pankaj for teaching me "priorities" in life

Nararyan for reminding me of what I could have become (and what I thankfully didn’t turn out to be)

Amina for putting up with all the nonsense from D-16 and still being nice to us :-)

Aparna/Aarthi for all the Val day dates and our Tam gang get-togethers - precious memories those !

Sachin for your undying enthusiasm working for Adcom

Pranav for redefining 'COOL' for me, staying "off" my women and a million other things - actually for every minute spent together at D-16

Suchi for filling in that gap of being the sister I never had and the one person whose notes I could always xerox :-p

Trooni for teaching me some of life's most invaluable lessons and for laying the foundations for the mad Jupe I am today

Ashish for trying to match me in decibels in the hostel and intensity in B'day bumps - u havta admit though that u always were second best !

Paresh Nagar, our desi Shekhar Suman meets Udham Singh equivalent, who provided us BH-168 and other cheap thrills :-)

Amit for all those googled case studies and heart-to-heart talks

Sagun for being my only love in college

and finally Dhruv, for sparing the world from Rads :-p

Uffff, I know I promised but...

Hotchick
Originally uploaded by Jupieee.

....then not all promises are meant to he kept. Neway much as I tried my best to round up a snap of "the hottest one" and scan if for ye all, I could not manage to get my hands on her..ooops...snap, i mean. So went to Google images to try my luck and gawd, "Hot Chick" does throw up some interesting results - Trust me :-p

The one that caught my fancy most is shown here(I swear)

ps: Can anyone whoz seen Hyd Blues2 give me a detailed review? How many stars did it pick up in TOI?

Learnings from this weekend - 1

Okie, the title for my post is a dedication to the Right Honorable Professor. Arul who taught me OB at SP. His classes were a welcome break from most of the usual management crap taught at B-school. Honestly speaking, in more than a few ways, his was the course that helped me discover new dimensions about myself :-) So what is the parallel between this and my weekend? I can hear the groans and almost predict that you must be saying "What could he have possibly learnt from Greece beating Portugal or Schumi winning yet another F1 race or even Federer slaying Roddick?" Good. For once I am not gonna ramble on about sports.

I had gone home this weekend to attend one of my closest and longest pal Satish's wedding at Mayavaram. For people whose favorite subject at school wasn't Geography, Mayavaram is also called Mayiladuthurai and is represented in the Lok Sabha by the verbose Mani Shankar Aiyar. It is situated 140 odd kilometres South East of Trichy, the world's greatest city. A rustic town whose only claim to fame are the wealthy Chettiars, the first thing that strikes one on arriving at Mayavaram is its heat. Man, is it hot! And I am in no way referring to the presence of people like me :-) (Pls spare me this liberty)

We (my parents and I) checked in at the exquisitely named Hotel Silambu at around 5 pm on Saturday evening. Since the reception was scheduled for around 7 pm, I quickly washed up, dressed down (after all I wasn't getting married) and switched on telly to watch Maria Sharapova (droooool) dismantle Serena effortlessly. And before I forget, let me thank Maria for her mention of me in her victory speech. Mmmwaaaah Maria dahlings. I digress. Okie, it was 7 pm when we finally left for the marriage hall. We were cordially invited, escorted to the dining hall (Rule no: 1 - whatever time you go to a South Indian wedding, there's always some yummy food to grab) where I gorged on some "light" snacks. The groom and the bride were soon escorted to the centre stage and showcased to the entire townsfolk. (Literally every damn person worth his salt in that town had turned up) 2 hrs and a music concert later, dinner was served. Needless to say, I indulged myself heavily. It was at around 10pm that we returned back to the hotel.

I hate waking up early on Sundays but this was probably one of those rare exceptions when I was the first to be up and ready. I had been told that there were a lot of "cute womenfolk" expected and I could "turn on the charm" if I so wished :-) A few hours later I was at the receiving end of one of the harshest reality checks on earth. "Cute" apparently is very relative and Mayavaram's opinions do not seem to match mine. Let’s just leave this at this. The wedding was as expected, a gala affair - heavy turnout of friends and relatives, a ceremony short on dramatics but high on traditions and most importantly, cooking was by Arusuvai Natarajan's group. (Tamil Nadu's greatest cook)

Which brings us to the learnings...I have always believed in simple weddings - maybe a short ceremony at the registration office and a small reception hosted for the really near-and-dear ones with a NO GIFTS rule strictly enforced. I have also maintained that "grand" in a wedding context always meant "ostentatious" and I was of the firm opinion that these functions are a damn waste of money. But after this wedding, I am not so sure. There seems to be an alternate school of thought that these weddings are a small industry by themselves. They provide livelihoods for the pundits who conduct the ceremonies, the hundreds of cooks whose only working days are at such functions, the hundreds of servants of the mandap who get good food only these 2 days, the pandal and flower decorators who earn money only during Muhurth days, the musicians who play only at weddings, the videographer who doesn't get to work on half the other days...I could go on but an entire group of people seem to flourish during weddings. So maybe the money spent doesn't go down the drain after all. It’s a thought worth considering? Is someone listening? Please.

I've ranted for too long. Will upload select photos of the wedding in a later post as soon as I have scanned them. Till then... Ciao.

Brave and Gallant Me

I did it. I won my first serious battle at home. Nopes - am in no way referring to the usual "Why don't you cut down on your sleep and start exercising ?" or "When do you plan to settle down ?" arguments. My folks are chill. I am talking of this BIG FIGHT between me and the cockroaches. These pests have been bugging me for over a month now and much as I’ve tried to keep my house clean, they keep popping up from nowhere. Taking my mom's advice, I tried that magic chalk powder but the ones in Bangalore seem to be wiser than the average Joe. HIT and other repellants had also failed. So cometh the hour, cometh the man. Tuesday night, broom in hand, I attacked them. Guerilla warfare. I hid behind doors (assuming they can see me) and surprised them. My, my, did they retaliate. They ran like crazy. What happened next..

Commercial break ke baad

Trivia 1 for the day: Cockroaches are among the fastest running insects, capable of 50 body lengths per second, which is equivalent to a human running the 100 yard dash in 1 second.

Shah Rukh Khan, with a silly grin on his face and a sporty Nike shoe in hand, hams "Haaaaan..If you wanna run faster than these cockroaches, use NIKE. Just do it."

(Commercial break over)

Silly ol' me had forgotten to close the doors. Needless to say they started escaping to other rooms and I had great trouble restricting their movement. Hurrying behind them and taking pot-shots once in a while, I soon claimed 3 victims. But there were atleast 5-6 left. Next weapon to be used was the bucket. Standing a good 2 feet away from them, I threw a bucket on a couple of 'em the intention being to closet them within that and suffocate them by cutting off their oxygen supply after 3 minutes. 3 minutes ke baad, when I opened the bucket, Lo....what happened next

Last commercial break ke baad

Trivia 2 for the day: Cockroaches can survive even nuclear attacks.

Amitabh Bachchan, with his deep baritone voice, says " Wanna eradicate cockroaches. Send them to watch Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. Bol diya tho bol diya"

(Commercial break over)

The damn things almost flew at me. Okie, maybe I am exaggerating but they sure took off towards me. Screaming and stomping my foot on them at the same time, I managed to get two more. Bravo Jupe ! Now all that was left was the final assault. Summoning up all my courage, having a small flash back about the numerous instances in the past when they had embarrassed me in front of visitors with their pesky presence, I had one last hugeeee swipe at them. N yessssss, I got them all. Mission accomplished.

As I look back now at those 15 minutes of irrefutable valor, my chest swells with pride. I've finally discovered that lion within me.

PS: This piece is dedicated to someone special as she starts what is probably the most crucial phase of her life today. So here's truckloads of best wishes and prayers for her success. (A peck in the cheek..SLAP....Ooops..sorry)

PPS: I was kinda considering writing a piece on the hottest chick I’ve met but I have postponed that for Monday :-)

Nobody likes what I write (wallowing in self pity)

Some people think I am journo material - so insulting :-( Others think I am made of Booker stuff - so boring :-(

I hate you all - In fact I hate lots of things in life. Hey,isn't that a great idea for a post. So here i go. I can't stand..

@ Guys who visit Archies gallery not to buy cards but to secretly write down those lovely wordings. These dumbos actually believe that their women will be fooled that it was their own creativity at work.

@ War movies that need to have a brave Muslim soldier die to prove his loyalty to his motherland.

@ Rap songs that need to have the mandatory F word atleast 5 times to become a chart buster.

@ Products that come strongly advertised as User-friendly though in reality they aren't - in some cases even their user manuals are written in Hebrew.

@ Women who make statements with weird Birthday gifts to their men - what on earth is a nail cutter, a travel bag or a book on Ancient Greek Mythology supposed to mean? %$*&^

@ (And toking of weird) people who can't spell that damn word right - weird, I mean ! My statistics tell me 87% of folks get it wrong more than 50% of the time. Now go check your blogs :-)

The list is endless. But the rest of my compilation will have to wait.

ps: ESPN-Star is back. But Henman lost and Serena won. I hate life..Blah blah blah....